Happy Thanksgiving everybody. This year, we give special thanks for…um, let me see here…for…. Well, I guess I’m thankful that it’s not January 20th yet. Anad that it’s not snowing. Beyond that, I dunno, ‘cuz come Inauguration Day, we are SOOOOOOOO fucked. I wish I was just being a pessimistic alarmist or something, but I really don’t feel so good about what’s to come in this country. I’d say I hope we can hold on for 4 years, but I’ll be the fucker gets a second term. Just ‘cuz We The People really are that stupid. Not all of us, of course – just a minority that somehow make up the majority of voters in the Shithead States of America. The old chestnut is that you get the government you deserve, and I’m fine with those people getting the government they voted for. I just don’t think it’s fair that I’m getting stuck with the government they deserve.

I was going to write more, but the dogs are insisting on being pet this morning. Every time one leaves, another comes to take his (or her) place. So I guess that’s another thing I’m grateful for – no shortage of doggies to scratch behind the ears.

To those of you who don’t have to go over to the in-laws today (anybody talks Trump today, and I’m gonna scream), have a Happy Thanksgiving. I guess the rest of us will just have to do the best we can.

Now hurry up and eat so you can get out to Walmart before all the good shit’s gone.

After getting my chores done yesterday afternoon, I was sat in the front yard in a t-shirt, enjoying the sunny 70 degree weather with the dogs. Somewhere around 4:00, somebody flipped a switch and it got dark, windy, rainy, and increasingly cold. It got cold enough to snow a bit overnight but everything was too warm for more than a sloppy white coating that didn’t even cover the grass all the way (though if I’d cut the grass one last time, it might have). Now, though….

Well, it’s starting to sitck but there’s not a whole lot of accumulation just yet. The heavy stuff is supposed to kick in overnight and (most inconveniently) for the morning commute. This is one of those “triple threat” storms we get around here that really depends on which way the wind blows. First, there’s snow the cold front that’s been moving across the country. Then winds from the north west pick up moisture from Lake Ontario and dump lake effect snow on us. Once that passes, the counterclockwise winds that surround the low pressure system swirl back across the lake and give us another round of lake effect.

They say we’ll get about a foot of snow by 8 AM tomorrow, so that’ll be nice for the ride in. Not a blizzard or anything, but enough to be annoying. There’s always the possibility the wind’ll blow a different way and we’ll be spared the worst of it. Or it could blow another way and be much worse than they predict. Hard to say. Either way, it’s seems safe to say I’ll be out on the tractor plowing bright and early (well, early, anyway – I’ll have to get out there well before sunrise), and I hope they manage to get the public parking lot down in the village cleared enough to park before I have to get on the bus (or at least stand at the corner waiting for it) at 7:07. As this is my first winter doing the whole public transportation thing, I don’t know what to expect. But at least I won’t have far to drive.

The wife, however, is a different story. Her commute is shorter than what I used to have, but it still involves a bunch of hills. And she hasn’t got her snow tires on yet so she’s a bit worried. I don’t actually have snow tires for my car – too cheap to get them the past two years, and since my commute is only two miles now, I’m not planning on getting them anytime soon.

I mean, much like the state of the nation since this past election, it’s all downhill from here anyway. About 1,000 feet downhill. Most of that in three-tenths of a mile or so. So all you have to do is hit the brakes at the top of the hill and hope you slow down enough to stop before you have to take a hard left and then get around the right-hand hairpin curve by the cemetery. If not, a tombstone is sure to stop you if a telephone poll doesn’t get you first.

Getting back up can be a bit of a challenge if it’s slippery, though. Unfortunately, there’s no way to get home without going up a hill. Plus, it’s not like we’re in the Rocky Mountains and have to get through the Eisenhower Tunnel or something.

On the bright side, it’s very pretty if you don’t have anywhere to go.

Not only does today appear to be the last day of Fall around here, with the dreaded “Lake Effect Snow” warnings out (supposed to turn to shit sometime after midnight tonight), but it’s another day I dread – the start of shotgun season here in the Southern Tier of NY. So, come sunrise, I expect to hear an untold number of Elmer Fudds out there blasting away. Not only would I just as soon not catch a stray deer slug, I’m afraid for the dogs. It’s been a while since anybody made a break for it over the fence, but I’d hate for today to be the day. I can see some asshole mistaking them for deer, or one of our brave hunters shooting one of them down for chasing a deer (which the hunters enjoy doing because they’re so concerned for the welfare of the deer, of course, and not just because they like to kill things). All of which is legal, and even if it wasn’t, in Trump’s America, pretty much anything goes these days.

Speaking of the election, I guess I’m slowly getting to the point where I don’t wanna slit my wrists. Sorta.

For quite a while now, I’ve been using PocketCasts to download podcasts to listen to on my morning commute and also for use while doing things like weed whacking or cutting the grass. I’ve also started listening to them during the day at work now that I’m sequestered in my little jail cell of a cubicle (now I know why the Borg ship was shaped like a cube – conformity is compulsory, and resistance is futile; I guess it’s been good practice for what’s coming in January). Still, I have more hours of material than there are hours in the day available to listen, so I’m backed up quite a bit.

Presently, I’m into the end of June and Trump has secured the Republican nomination (and Clinton has the Democratic nomination locked up as well). With hindsight, it’s been fascinating (and rather chilling) to listen to people treat the Trump candidacy first as a joke and then with disbelief at what the Republicans had done. And of course with the certainty that there was no way he was going to become president. Knowing now how things would turn out, it’s really depressing.

What’s truly maddening, though, is listening to the pundits, talking heads, and comedians (mostly on NPR shows, so “comedy” is a relative term) treat Bernie Sanders as though he was some kind of a joke – a cranky, deranged old man spouting nonsense. I’ve heard a lot of talk over the past, what is it, year or so (seems like a hell of a lot longer than that) about how unfair Clinton was being treated (and I don’t disagree with that – it’s been shameful and disgusting), deriding her for her hair, her clothes, the way she spoke, her demeanor, the e-mail non-scandal, etc. But Bernie got pretty much the same treatment (though, obviously, he’s a white male and we’re a lot tougher to insult than people of color or females. I mean, you can call me a cracker or a mick or a kraut or even a McKraut all you want to it doesn’t bother me in the least – a different story back when “my people” got off the boat here back in the day, I’m sure).

But what’s annoying is hearing people talk about Bernie like he’s a joke – some deranged lunatic. Universal healthcare? Free college tuition? Corporate money out of politics? That’s crazy talk! So crazy that his message resonated with a lot of voters (especially the younger ones) and many of his proposals were adopted by Hillary Clinton and added to the Democratic platform.

Say what you want about him, he’s been a public servant for a lot of years, mostly on the right (and by that I mean “left”) side of things (not 100% – unfortunately nobody agrees with me 100%, which is too bad for the world – or from my perspective at least), and he’s been able to work with people on the “other side” (though I’m not sure that’s even possible any more – if it was before, it won’t be after this last election) to accomplish more than he’s been given credit for.

Whether or not you thought any of Bernie’s ideas were plausible given the the nature if the way our government works (and I use the term “works” loosely) and whether or not you thought Clinton made for a better candidate (we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one), I’d like to think that we can all agree that the Sanders campaign wasn’t some big joke and that Bernie was more than some wild-eyed ranting nutty old man. That doesn’t mean I think Hillary deserved all the crap that was thrown at her (or for the past, what, 20+ years for that matter). I’m pretty sure anybody whose brain has developed beyond the reptilian stage would agree that either Clinton or Sanders would at the very least have been able to hold off the Republican barbarians at the gate, if not actually make some small advances.

And I don’t even want to think about SCOTUS, the Attorney General, Secretary of the Interior….

If only elections were about competence and real issues – at least then even if somebody I had disagreements with got elected, I could at least respect them and the results. The way things are? Not so much.

God, this is just all too depressing. Plus if I have to listen to this “wrapper cheese” commercial one more time, I’m gonna go fucking nuts(er). Wake me when it’s over.

Oh well, big day today getting ready. Winter’s coming.

So, it’s been almost a week since the unbelievable happened. It’s been a tough few days, that’s for sure, and I’m still feeling a bit, well, kind of hungover. Or at least emotionally drained and empty inside – for many reasons, not the least of which was exhaustion due to the lack of sleep on election night that I finally caught up on over the weekend. Though I went to bed well before any of the returns came in, I woke up at about 1:00 AM (to do what we old guys have to do at least a few times overnight) and took a quick peek at my phone for the news (bad idea – if I hadn’t been on call, I wouldn’t have even had the damn thing with me). Things weren’t quite declared yet, but Florida was called, Trump was up something like 238-205, and it was pretty clear it was all over but the crying (actually, the crying had already begun at Clinton HQ). Sleep, after that, was impossible.

I finally gave up the ghost and got out of bed at about 3:40 (which, truth be told, is about the time I usually get up anyway now that I keep old-man hours), but delayed confirming the final results for as long as I could. I guess maybe I was holding out hope that things were still too close to call or something. In retrospect, I should have e-mailed in sick and gone back to bed. It was all too much like 2004 (at least in 2000, we were kept in suspense for quite a while). That year, the day after the election happened to be my birthday, so I took the day off. The wife was off that day too (or maybe she was working evenings then, I can’t remember).

During the day on election day that year, I remember all the signs being positive. Exit polls seemed to have Kerry way ahead and things looked good (sound familiar), so I bought a boatload (a swiftboat load) of beer and headed home to bask in the returns. Finally, we’d get rid of that pretender-in-chief (who now looks a lot better to me in retrospect). Of course things started to turn to shit after the polls closed and it turned into another long night. I’m a little vague on things after that, but I know things weren’t over by the time I passed out in bed.

If I remember correctly, Kerry conceded way, way too early the next morning (Rachel Maddow broke the news to me during “Unfiltered”), officially marking 2004 as one of the worst birthdays ever. The wife and I “celebrated” by going out for lunch, and then taking Siggy for a walk out at Green Lakes state park (where some asshole inexplicably drove by swearing at us for some reason, making my shitty mood that much more foul).

This time around I felt almost as crappy (the only difference is that back in 2004 I was literally hung over, whereas this year it was more figurative) but I had to go to work, which I guess was just as well because I couldn’t bear to look at or listen to the news. If you’re gonna feel like shit, you might as well do it at work, I guess.

And now it appears that the Nazis are indeed taking over the government – complete with Reichsführer Reince Priebus, Kellyanne “Leni Riefenstahl” Conway, and Reich Chancellor Steve Bannon. And the Nazis even seem to have formed a coalition with the Russians (a shame Drumpf is ignorant of history he might wanna look into how the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact worked out).

As I’ve started to poke my head up around the Internets again, I’ve seen a lot of grandiose chatter about “taking back” the country from these fascists and all that. How quaint. It’s a nice idea, but kind of misses a couple of key points. First, these people have all three branches of government now – and they’ll have the courts for the foreseeable future. Not just SCOTUS, either. Remember all those lower court vacancies that the Republicans managed to keep Obama from filling? You’re gonna see that shit filled in record time. Better hold onto your pussies tight, ladies – the Republicans are coming after them. And you well-tanned types better start bleaching your skin and learning to speaky the English (make that, speak “American”) or get the hell out.

The other fallacy about “taking back” America is that a lot of people fail to understand that half the people really don’t give enough of a shit to recognize and care about what’s happening. Not enough to vote, anyway. And of the other half that actually do care? Half of them think Drumpf is just what the doctor (or at least God) ordered and love this shit. And they’ll go on loving it no matter how shitty their lives get because if things get bad, it’s all that goddamned Obama’s fault anyway. And they’ll all be voting for him in 2020 (assuming the fat bastard doesn’t die before then).

Speaking of voting, I’m thinking it’s about time I gave that nonsense up. People I vote for never seem to win, so it seems pretty pointless (you know, the old “definition of insanity” thing). No matter what I do, the stupid people are gonna get their way, and on the national level, the shitty little pissant states get to set the the agenda (though I’m seriously disappointed in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania – I mean, c’mon. I expect this shit from Florida and Ohio, but not you guys). I wish the Canadians would let NY (and California) join up with them (although most of Upstate NY really belongs in Texas). I can live with 3 downs in football, and I won’t mind going to Brewer’s Retail when I start drinking beer again.

Anyhow, you’ll have to excuse my slightly gloomy outlook on things right now. Maybe this dark cloud looming over everything will pass over (gonna take a while, at the very least).

If you’re having difficulty coping, I highly recommend a couple of things that won’t actually do any good in the general scheme of things, but might make you feel a bit better. If you use the Google Chrome browser, I advise you to add a couple of extensions. First, there’s the “Some Rich Asshole”, which will change every mention of Trump or Donald Trump to read “the rich asshole.” And if you can’t stand looking at that smug prick’s face, add “Make Trump Burger Again”, which will change Trump’s picture to that of a “delicious burger”.

With both of these extensions installed, you’ll get something like this:

Resistance might be futile, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be amusing.

I don’t have much to say, except I’m glad I went to bed early last night. Oh, and on behalf of the rest of the world – thank you, America. Just when we thought we couldn’t think any less of you, you’ve lowered our opinion another notch.

So, finally, election day is here. I’m always glad to see the campaign over with, but this year it’s an even bigger relief. For one thing, Google can stop offering to find my polling place for me. Thanks anyway, Google, but I already know where it is. Taking the bus complicates things a bit, as normally I like to stop off to vote on my way to work. That’s not an issue when you don’t punch a clock, but the bus waits for no man, so if I’m a bit late I’ll have to wait an hour for the next one. And the diner’s closed on Tuesdays.

I don’t have a great feeling about what’s gonna happen today. Maybe it’s having lived through Al Gore and John Kerry. Beyond the race for preznit, I’m afraid that Republicans will retain control of the Senate (the House, of course, is a foregone conclusion), so Clinton will have next to no chance of getting anything accomplished, let alone appointing anybody to the left of John Birch to the Supreme Court.

Get ready for 4-8 years of bullshit investigations. And that’s the best case scenario.

I don’t think I’ll have time to put together a chat room to watch the election returns, so I guess we’re all on our own. As for me, I plan on going to bed before the polls close. Hopefully it’ll all be over one way or the the other before this time tomorrow.

Good luck, America. Smoke it if you’ve got it.

It was a rather fitting start to the month of November this morning. After a nice clear night, we awoke to the coldest start of the season, with temperatures down into the 20s. Cold doesn’t kill ticks, unfortunately, but hopefully it at least pissed them off. As for me, my worst fears were realized yesterday. OK, not my worst, worst fears (that’s coming up a week from today), but the thing I’ve been dreading since I began taking the bus to work.

I managed to get the mower off the tractor over the weekend and got the cab (mostly) on. That doesn’t sound like much (and it isn’t), but that tiny bit of exertion somehow managed to inflame one of my feet. I have an egg below my right ankle bone that looks like somebody surgically inserted a golf ball under the skin. By the time I got home last night, my foot felt as though I was walking on a water balloon, and the pain shot all the way up to my knee.

It’s pretty difficult to be my normal charming self under these conditions, let alone stand at my desk all day and then walk home. The bus driver couldn’t get to the curb to let me off, so I had to drop off the final step and onto that foot (in hindsight, I perhaps should have led with the other foot, though that one has what feels like an inflamed tendon that runs across the foot to my bog toe, so that’s not so great either). That hurt, let me tell ya.

So I kept it iced up last night before bed (and this morning), and between that and the Ibuprofen, the pain was manageable this morning. Still looks like my ankle’s nine months pregnant, though.

Today I’m sitting at my desk for a change. It’s already killing my back, but I really don’t want to stand on that damn foot all day (I wish I had some ice and could keep the damn thing elevated).

It’s really hard to explain to the dogs that I can’t get up to let them in/out every five minutes.

I’ve had these bouts last for quite a while in the past, so I could be in for a long, long month. The worst part is, I’ve been doing everything right lately. No beer in close to two months, no bad food (not all that much food altogether, really), no enjoyment. No nothing – except work.

Basically, it sucks.

Speaking of sucking, I was getting fairly confident that we not only wouldn’t have President Trump but maybe – just maybe – we’d get the Republicans out of the Senate. Then James Comey had to stick his big smelly Weiner into everything and fuck it all up.

It’s Melania I feel sorry for at this point, because you know this has given Donnie a perpetual woody, and his campaign won’t let him score any hookers until after the election. And now that Ivanka’s out of the house, Melania’s stuck with his bloated sweaty carcass on top of her. It’s 30 seconds that must feel like an eternity.

I’m sure she knew what the job entailed when she accepted his down payment, but, still. Nobody deserves that.

I don’t know if this e-mail bullshit (and it is bullshit, but it doesn’t matter because that’s not how it’s being reported to the unwashed masses – aka “undecided voters”) will put Trump in the White House (this ABC poll has him leading by one point and 538 has the odds down to 74-26 for Clinton – with a lot of swing states that looked safe suddenly appearing disturbingly close and an increased likelihood of a split popular/electoral vote), but even if not, it could really fuck up things in the Senate, and we already know the Republicans are gonna be bigger obstructionists to Clinton than they’ve been to even Obama.

Oh well, I’d better stop thinking about it. All this stress is going straight to my foot.