On behalf of the vast left wing conspiracy, I bid you all Happy Holidays from all of us here on the front lines of the war on Christmas. We’re not exactly exhibiting a festive atmosphere here at my household. The wife and I are both on call today, though hers only last until the end of the work day, and mine extends until tomorrow morning at eight AM, when I’m released from yet another week of unpaid after-hours servitude. My wife’s present to me today was to give me permission to not go with her to the in-laws’s house. Not that I don’t enjoy seeing them, of course, but I could get a call about a database-related emergency at any moment, and then I’d have to leave and spoil all the fun (because the only thing worse than being deprived of my presence is to be graced with my presence, only to have it suddenly taken away).

Instead, I guess I’ll just spend the day alternating between the Doctor Who Takeover Marathon (leading up to the highly anticipated Christmas Special) on BBCA and “The OA” on Netflix (started watching yesterday and stayed up past my bedtime last night). I’ve been watching Dr Who all week (or at least the past few days – not sure how long it’s been running), courtesy of a free trial of DirecTV Now, which ended yesterday (I cancelled it, but fortunately also cancelled the PayPal recurring payment, because the fuckers tried to charge me anyway).

DTV Now wasn’t bad, by the way, but with a bit of a clunky interface, a flakey Android app that kept crashing, no Android TV app (though you can cast it), no DVR capability, and no 5.1 streaming (except on some limited on-demand stuff and not via Chromecast), it just wasn’t worth the money. Plus the only thing I watch Live TV for is the local news (locals not available so I have to watch OTA anyway), SU sports (let’s just say there’s not much of incentive there), and football (also mostly on locals and every team I give a shit about seems to be a loser).

I’m now trying a free week of SONY’s Playstation Vue, which has an Android TV app and cloud DVR capability. Plus 5 simultaneous streams compared to 2 for DTV, though there’s still no 5.1 stereo, and SONY doesn’t have a deal with Viacom, so no Comedy Central and no CBS on demand stuff.

So I guess I’d better get going – all this teevee isn’t going to watch itself.

Whatever holiday you happen to be celebrating (or not) or whatever else it is you’re doing (or not), I hope you have a good day.

It’s the shortest day of the year (or at least the day with the least possible amount of daylight). Yes, the winter solstice arrived at 5:44 AM (EST), and tomorrow we’ll be gaining an astonishing 3 seconds of daylight in my neck of the woods. It’s always a thrill to see the days start to get longer again, even if it seems to take forever to get back to an even split between day and night (which won’t happen until the middle of March (just in time for St. Patrick’s Day). And although they call this the first day of winter, we have yet to see the real snow and cold (at least around here, which is kind of a scary thought).

Way back in October, I mentioned a band-aid that had been stuck to the sidewalk on my way to work for at least a couple of weeks at the time. Since then, we’ve had over four feet of snow and sub-zero temperatures. That sidewalk has been scraped down with a little John Deere garden tractor quipped with a snow plow and a salt spreader that’s probably dumped a couple hundred pounds of salt on it. It’s snowed, warmed up, rained, gotten cold, froze, and snowed some more. And through all of this, I’m pleased (and rather amazed) to report that that damn band-aid is still right there, stuck in the same spot it’s been for probably over three months.

Since this is a sidewalk next to the Roman Catholic Diocese and Cathedral School, I’m tempted to call this a miracle (all it lacks is a scab in the face of Jesus stuck to it or something).

This is second only to the miracle of the clock in my bathroom stopping only moments before the late Harold Camping predicted that the rapture would come on May 21, 2011 (as opposed to his previous prediction that the end times would happen on September 6, 1994) at 9:00 PM EDT (6 PM local “Camping” time at his home in Alameda, California) – thereby sparing all us heathen sinners God’s wrath (if only temporarily – you can’t cheat the Almighty forever, and it looks like we begin paying for our sins on or about January 20, 2017).

It was months before I replaced the battery in that clock, lest I usher in the four horsemen of the Apocalypse and Camping’s predicted five months of fire, brimstone, plagues and lots-o-death.

Anyhow, one of these days I’ll stop and take a picture of that band-aid (as soon as I can figure out how to do that w/o looking like an idiot – it’ll definitely have to wait until I don’t need to wear gloves) and post it here.

Until then, better get out there and get your Xmas shopping done. After all, there are only five days until the big after-Christmas sales start.

Technically, it’s been a short week for me since I had Mon, Tue, Wed off. That was because one of my stepdaughters was in town and staying with is, so I thought I’d do her the honor of taking a couple days off to hang out. Of course, I’m not exactly a thrill a minute so I doubt she cared much, but I’m always happy to have an excuse to take time off.

She left yesterday and I guess managed to catch her flight prior to the onset of some pretty nasty weather. By the time I got out of work yesterday and headed to the bus stop, it was something like 12 degrees out, with winds somewhere north of 30 miles an hour, and plenty of snow. It was a whiteout as I waited for the bus, which was 40 minutes late. The wind had me caked in an inch or two of snow, and my hands were like icy stumps of frozen sausage by the time I got on the bus, and they were still partially frozen by the time I got to my sleepy little village – which is kind of surprising, given that it took over an hour to get there.

I was literally shivering as I brushed the snow off my car and drove at a snail’s pace (being still in the grips of a whiteout) to my house. Since the snow was showing no signs of abating, there wasn’t much point in plowing the driveway last night (plus I was too damn cold and too damn tired), so I sequestered myself in my office in front of a space heater and tried to thaw myself out as much as possible before finishing the process in bed with a heating pad (many thanks to Earl Richardson for inventing “El Warmo” – the first heating pad – in 1911).

The Warmo was one of Earl’s many “El” (for Electricity) products, which included El Perco (an electric coffeepot), El Chafo (chafing dish), El Tosto (electric toaster), El Stovo (hotplate), El Eggo (egg fryer), and El Teballo (electric teapot).

Earl’s first invention was an electric iron, and he also made a crockpot called “The Jug Cooker.” Not sure why he gave up on the “El” name for that one.

Anyhow, it did nothing but get colder all night long, and as I plowed the driveway at the 5:00 AM or so, the temperature was well on its way to breaking a 99 year old record cold for this date. It eventually got down to -2°.

So it was a little nippy standing on the corner waiting for the bus once again this morning, and there’s more snow in the forecast for next week.

I’d say I’m sick of winter already, except winter hasn’t actually started yet. It’s starting to shape up to be another shitty year like the one when we moved into our current house. That year started out cold with septic problems, too.

Right now, all I want is for this week to be over so I can go home and take a nap.

I’m working from home this morning, which would normally be a happy time for me. But today, it’s because I’m waiting for the shit pumper to come and pump out my septic tank. And things have gotten rather dire here, as we’re now into zero-output mode. No flushing, no showers, not even any brushing of the teeth. I really hope we’re the first stop on his route today, because I’ve got a little something saved up that’s getting rather desperate to get out.

In retrospect, I should have recognized the signs of this impending issue and gotten it taken care of sooner. But I’m rather new to the ways of the septic tank, and in six years out here this will be the first time getting it pumped out. Live and learn, I guess.

Even more exciting, it’s taken a turn toward colder weather and it snowed last night, though not all that much. We’re supposed to wind up with 6-12″ when all is said and done tomorrow, but of course you never really know what’ll happen. It’s all about which way the wind blows when it comes to Lake Effect.

Speaking of Lakes, I was said to hear of the passing of Greg Lake at the what seems way too young age of 69. And then of course John Glenn died as well. I guess at 95 that isn’t a huge surprise, but it’s sad anyway. I’ll miss him on Westworld. But he got to ride on the space shuttle at the age of 77, so maybe there’s hope for me to get a ride into orbit before I die. Though I think space tourism will still be something reserved for the ultra-wealthy during my lifetime. Oh well, I can dream – at least until January 20th, at which point all dreams will automatically turn into nightmares.

Not that a plugged up septic tank isn’t a nightmare.