Or Happy Day Kennedy Was Shot. Depends on what you’re into, I guess. Though I suppose nothing says you can’t celebrate both. This year it might be a bit of a challenge to find things to be grateful for, what with the wildfires and the climate change and whatnot. Normally you can just go with the everyday things that you take for granted, like not having a President who’s a narcissistic sociopathic moron but, well….

Things around here have been less than ideal, unfortunately. Oh, sure, the weather sucks (it’s 12 degrees out there right now, and from the sound of things, that’s gonna be the highlight of the next few days), but that’s to be expected. And even though we’ve had over a foot of wet, heavy snow, I at least got to make sure I the chains didn’t fall off the tractor tires, and that I had the 4WD working again. Plus it wasn’t subzero and I happened to be off when we got the worst of it, so I didn’t have to get out there at 5 AM and freeze my ass (actually, more like my fingers and toes – my ass stays pretty warm) off just so I could have the pleasure of going to work.

Then I came home the other night after work and the house was cold. Which it’s not supposed to be. It wasn’t subzero outside, but it was cold and not having heat was a bit disconcerting. I’ll spare you the long version of the story, but fortunately I was able to snap into former-HVAC guy mode and get things warmed up again. Though it’ll be a while before I stop worrying about it (and then things will probably turn to shit again).

And then there was what has to have been the worst few days sports-wise in recent memory. Not only did the SU football play like shit and look pathetic on national teevee against a team that I personally despise (and refuse to name here, but as a clue they have a racist, insulting mascot that perpetuates an insulting stereotype against my people), but the basketball team (for which we have high hopes this season, and which is pretty much the only thing that makes winter bearable around here – at least once you stop being a kid and start being a miserable old man) lost two games in a row and looked lousy while doing it.

But the worst part was my almost 97 year old father in law falling down the basement stairs in the middle of the night a few days ago. Broken face, broken wrist, broken fingers. Might have been some broken fingers in there, too – I forget. So that meant a couple of days in the hospital and now he’s in a nursing home, ostensibly for rehab but, well, he’s apparently not coming back, which he doesn’t know yet. He hates it there, and I’m not really sure he understands exactly what the deal is. Oh, and I imagine he’s pretty sore, to add injury to insult.

So this is all very sad. Heartbreaking, really. I can’t help but feel things from his perspective. Alone and in pain, confused and not really understanding what the deal is. Feeling betrayed and abandoned and just wanting to go home.

Personally, I hate not being home. My goal from the moment I leave the house is to get back home again, and it’s really difficult to get me back out of the house again once I get home. So I feel pretty horrible for the guy, and for my wife. And for me because, frankly, I see my future in all of this, and I don’t like what I see.

Being the youngest (by a long shot) in my family and having no kids of my own, the options seem to be to die relatively young the way my parents did, or live to the point where I can’t take care of myself and wind up rotting old and alone in some nursing home surrounded by a bunch of demented old farts hollering at imaginary people and crapping in my diapers while condescending young people wipe my ass and hose me off occasionally while I wait to die.

So I guess today I’ll be thankful that it hasn’t come to that point for me yet. And that at least the Democrats will be in control of the House next year (and no matter who gets elected Speaker – I’m sure it’ll be Nancy Pelosi, which is apparently important to a lot of people out there – never fear; I’m sure the Democrats will continue to be the feckless losers running away from progressive policies that we’ve all come to know and love, at least until the young blood gets a chance to move up the ranks), for what that’s worth. And, hey, maybe they’ll surprise me.

And along with being grateful, I guess I’ll be hopeful. Hopeful that they’ll finally decide to make recreational pot legal here in NYS. It will never replace the hole in my soul where beer used to be, but I really don’t think I can go through whatever’s left of my life totally sober.

I mean, forget the rest of my life – I’m not even all that crazy about going through the holidays sober. Having time off is nice (except for being on call, which sucks), but I’m not really a big fan of the holidays. Mostly because I don’t think O should have to convince anybody that, no, I do not want to eat more. I’m not on a diet, I just know what it is I can get away with eating in order to not get gout flareups or otherwise feel like shit. And I really don’t want to eat dead animals. Even if they died of natural causes. I’m not at the point where I wanna be a pain in everybody’s ass over it, it’s just not something I care to do. So just let me eat my spinach salad with beans and my steamed veggies and leave me alone. I’m getting to be a little too old to feel required to justify my eating and/or drinking habits. It’s not like I give a shit what anybody else does.

And, no, I won’t be attending the office holiday party. Thanks, but no thanks. I realize this makes me a horrible person and ineligible for promotion but, hey, I can live with that.

The EU has a “right to be forgotten,” can’t I just have the right to be left alone?

Anyhow, whatever it is you’re thankful (or hopeful) for, I hope you have a safe and happy day today. And I have no idea who they’re playing, but let’s hope the Cowboys lose, too.