It’s about 43 degrees, windy, dark, and drizzly out there today, which means that in the history of CNY Mother’s Days, this doesn’t even come close to the worst one ever (weather-wise, at least). As long as we get less than eight inches of snow, we’re good. But, anyhow, to all the mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day. If you’ve got a mother, then you should probably do something nice for her (something better than what you’ll do for your father next month, which I guess goes without saying). Unless you don’t actually like your mother, in which case the hell with her. So she carried you for nine months (and, really, I’m sure she wasn’t even aware you were there for at least the first couple of months, so that wasn’t much of a burden) and then went through untold hours of suffering to squeeze you out. Big f*ckin’ deal – you didn’t ask to be born, am I right? Right. And for all my fellow orphans out there, just hang out and relax, do something nice for yourselves – unlike so many of the other bullshit Hallmark Holidays, you’re off the hook for this one.

Speaking of Mother’s Day, I saw that Alyssa Milano is calling on a “sex strike” to protest anti-abortion laws (only for women, though, I guess because only women are pro-choice). I don’t have an opinion on the matter (the strike part, I mean – I think abortion should be safe and legal and if the prospective father is present and involved, as he should be, then he should be able to express his thoughts, but in the end the person who actually has to be pregnant and give birth is the one who gets the final word on the matter. I mean, is that too obvious? I guess), except to say that whoever you are, male, female, non-binary, or whatever else, if you don’t want to have sex, then you shouldn’t. And nobody should feel as though they should have to.

I will say, though, that using sex a reward or withholding it as a punishment is probably not healthy for a relationship. Plus sex is kinda like HBO. You think you need it, but then after it’s been denied for a while, you realize you can live without it (oh, sure, it might be nice to watch the occasional episode of Game of Thrones, but if you have to, you can get by and if if push comes to shove, you can probably get what you need off the Internet). Then any power it may have had over you starts to diminish, if not evaporate altogether.

And then it’s like, hey, not every episode was all that great, and I wasn’t really watching enough to make it worth the fifteen bucks a month.

None of which, of course, relates to the Alabama anti-abortion legislation that I assume was the impetus for this most recent sex strike idea. How withholding sex (or not) from your partner the plumber in NYS is gonna influence legislation in Utah (or whatever), is beyond me.

But, hey, what do I know? In fact, to all the ladies out there, I say you should hold out until recreational marijuana is legal in all 50 states.

Solidarity, sisters!