It was back in 1976, as I recall, when I and the other local Eloi heard the sirens, dropped what we were doing, and dutifully marched off to Manley Field House to be vaccinated (with an air gun, which I thought was pretty cool at the time; do they still use those things?) against the dreaded Swine Flu. :omg: Of course, the Swine Flu scare turned out to be a load of crap. One poor soldier at the erotically named Fort Dix in NJ – David Lewis – did die after contracting the flu (as for what really killed him, I’ll leave that to the Alex Jones types out there), but another 500 or so soldiers were tested and diagnosed with the flu, though they weren’t even symptomatic. Lewis was the only know casualty. So, excuse me if I’m not feeling properly terrified today.

The vaccine? Well, depending on who you believe, that killed hundreds (and made more seriously ill), and was believed to have been responsible for causing a neurological disease known as Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS). In fact, a CDC study claims that the annual flu vaccine everyone’s always trying to shove in your arm carries a one in a million risk of causing GBS. Even without adjusting for the government bullshit factor (which probably brings it down to one in a 100,000 or so), that’s hundreds of cases a year of a really painful illness that can last for months (if not years) – with a 5% or so death rate – all because it “might” prevent the flu (if they guess correctly and the strains don’t mutate – which they tend to do).

Whereas I’m a reasonably healthy individual with a reasonably intact immune system (in spite of my rather bad habits), and I don’t work in NYC high schools (have a nice day at work, Sue! Public health expert Mike Bloomberg says stay home if you feel sick – a genius, that man), I reckon I’ll take my chances. I’ll take a few days of feeling crappy with the flu over a few months of muscle weakness, paralysis, and possible permanent nerve damage. Especially since I haven’t actually gotten the flu in longer than I can remember.

Oh, I know, “I got the flu shot last year and I didn’t get the flu.” Ergo, the flu shot prevented the flu. Yeah, and I keep a lucky coin in my pocket that keeps me from getting attacked by tigers.

B-b-b-b-but it’s the swine flu, and that’s a really scary name. Plus, it’s coming from godless Mexico! And it killed millions in 1918!

Well, actually, it wasn’t the flu virus that killed all those people way back when. It was actually bacteria – bacterial pneumonia, in fact – that did them in.

You should at least feel heartened by the fact that we have “the best health care system in the world.” Assuming you can afford it, and the Governor hasn’t closed your local hospital, of course.

Personally, I think I’ll just stock up on the oil of oregano (well, we already have a little bottle of it, which is about as “stocked up” as we need, since a little dab’ll do ya), and stay the hell away from both people (which I tend to do anyway), and pigs.

It’s supposed to be miserably hot here today (again, but even more so, as we’re supposed to hit 90). I hate to break the news to the dogs, but there’ll be no going to the park today. On the bright side, I have the first of four full days of AJAX and ColdFusion training today (yes, I’ll be able to scrub the sink while generating nearly unlimited amounts of energy at room temperature by Friday), which means I get to hang out at home for an extra hour or so. That’s good, ‘cuz ratfaced Matt Lauer is gonna tell me how to “stay safe” from the dreaded swine flu outbreak.

I guess there just aren’t enough terrorists out there to scare us with these days.

Oh, and Happy Birthday, ma.