I’m not one to criticize other people’s religious wardrobe choices. I mean, if nuns want to dress up like penguins (or wear a sea gull hat like Sister Bertrille), it’s OK by me. And if the pope wants to wear a turkey’s ass hat (or a red yarmulke on “casual” days), it’s no skin off my nose (I think the outfits are a little flamboyant, personally, but what do you expect from a bunch of single guys living together). Hey, whatever floats your boat. But there are some drawbacks to dating a chick wearing a beekeeper suit. Namely, that her family might just pull the old bait and switch, and show you pictures of her good-looking sister.

An Arab ambassador in Dubai has had his marriage annulled after discovering that his bride, behind her veil, was bearded and cross-eyed.

The couple had only met a few times during their courtship. Each of these times the woman had worn a niqab, an Islamic veil that covers most of the face.

After the marriage contract was signed in Dubai, the ambassador tried to kiss his new wife. However, as he removed the veil, he was shocked at what he saw.

“He was absolutely horrified,” a guest said. “The bride had a nice personality, but there was a good reason why she was hiding her looks behind a veil.”

Yeah, well, that’ll happen. They really should have given the guy a chance to get used to her first. Cross-eyes are one thing (might make you a bit paranoid, wondering what the hell she’s looking at all the time; “what, is somebody sneaking up behind me?”). But the time to find out your wife’s got a beard isn’t when you go to give her that first smooch. Some things you just gotta ease your way in to.

And, hey, dude, there might be one or two other things under that veil you wanna get a look at before you get hitched, too. You think a beard is a shocker…?

Just sayin’.

Speaking of stating the obvious (like, at least take a quick look under the hood before you buy a car), it also should go without saying that if you’re a fugitive from the law, maybe you shouldn’t be quite so diligent in updating your Facebook page.

U.S. marshals captured a Lockport man Wednesday in Terre Haute, Ind., after Lockport Police learned his whereabouts via his Facebook and MySpace pages.
[…]
Christopher Crego…was wanted for second- and third-degree assault charges…and fled the state just before his sentencing date last fall, police said.

Less than a year later, Lockport police charged Crego again with driving while intoxicated and unlawful possession of marijuana….

Podgers said through Crego’s Facebook and MySpace pages, police were able to find him.

“He had all of his information right online,” Podgers said. “He even wrote one time that police were never going to catch him.”
[…]
Lockport police posted a thank-you note on Crego’s Facebook page that read, “It was due to your diligence in keeping us informed that now you are under arrest.”

I know what you’re thinkin’. You’re thinkin’, here it is, like 8-9 years since 9/11, and no new pictures. Well, it’s your lucky day, ‘cuz ABC News filed a FOIA request to get aerial photos taken from police helicopters released. Now, why these photos would be a freakin’ secret is beyond me. What, they didn’t think we could take it?

No doubt these photos will conclusively and scientifically prove that 9/11 was an inside job because steel doesn’t melt in a fire (all those old movies with blacksmiths aside; those were faked by the Illuminati, who are all powerful and can wire skyscrapers for demolition without anybody noticing, and control the shadow world government – but can’t quite seem to control that pesky Alex Jones).

Now we can get to work on cracking the whole chem-trail thing.