And so, 2011 comes to an end. And you know what that means. Yes, the Twilight Zone Marathon. It starts at 9:00 AM on the channel formerly known as Sci-Fi, and while its acquisition by NBC/Universal is gradually turning the channel to shit (wrestling on Friday nights? Really? WTF?) and they have cancelled some of its best shows (SGU, Caprica, Eureka, and now Warehouse 13? Again, WTF?), at least they continue TZ Marathon tradition. For now. Vernon sent me a link to an excerpt of a now completed manuscript by Rod Serling’s daughter Anne, which is more than worth a read, if you’re interested. Thanks for that, Vernon.
I’m sure I don’t need to mention (but will anyway) that Rod was born in Syracuse on Christmas Day in 1924, grew up in Binghamton (going to the same high school as FK’s mom), died in Rochester, and is buried not too far from me in Interlaken (about an hour away. It’d be a lot faster if they’d build bridges across those pesky Finger Lakes. Especially Cayuga, which is where Cayuga Productions got its name). In fact, Carl Sagan (who is not from Syracuse, but did teach at Cornell and was a patient of my sister’s once when he was in the hospital for which I work) is buried in the same cemetery. So maybe I’ll make another pilgrimage this year.
Speaking of dead people, I used to do the roll call of death on New Years, but it was a pain in the ass because so goddamn many people kept dying every year. Not that it was their idea, of course. Hitchens, Frazier, Rooney, Morgan, Taylor, Winehouse, Davis, Cooper, Clemons, Robertson, Ford, Falk, Kevorkian…. Just too many to name. And more people will die today, even. Like, 152,000, give or take. How’re supposed to keep up with that?
It’s not all fun and games today, though. My older dog, Siggy, has had a “thing” on his face for a while now. A long while, I’m ashamed to admit. It started out looking like a pimple or an ingrown hair or something. It would get bigger, then smaller, bigger, smaller, etc, and so I had hopes that it would just go away. Then he tore it open . And it looked nasty, but then it would look like it would heal over, at which point he’d tear it open again. We tried spritzing it with peroxide, which seemed to help. Until he’d tear it open again. And we tried spritzing it with colloidal silver, which seemed to work, until he’d tear it open again. And I tried putting a donut thing around his neck, which I thought would keep him from tearing it open. But it didn’t. So, sadly, it’s time for the vet.
I really should have taken him sooner, of course. But he’s really not a very good patient, and I am what’s known as a “baby” and can’t stand to see (and hear) him suffer. I contend that my wife should be the one to take him, because while I have no doubt that she loves him as much as I do, she isn’t as emotionally invested in him as I am. She’s a nurse, and has been trained to ignore (if not somewhat relish) the suffering of others. Plus, as I said, I’m a baby.
I’ll be glad when this is over, that much is certain.
So, anyhow, enjoy the day and stay off the roads tonight. There’s sure to be a lot of drunk Republicans out there, and you don’t want one to run you over. No need to be casualty number 1 of 2012. Hell, we’re all gonna die next December anyway.
Feel better, Siggy.
Yesterday was gorgeous. 57 degrees and sunny. But, on this last day of a not so great year, it’s grey and dreary. No doubt those drunken Republicans are responsible.
I hope 2012 proves to be a better year than 2011 and that y’all have a happy and healthy new year and all the days that follow.
A Quiz for All Seasons
By GAIL COLLINS
Published: December 30, 2011
What a big week coming up! New Year’s Day and then the Iowa caucuses! Doesn’t get any better than that. And, in honor of this double-whammy of exciting events, here’s the End-of-the-Year Republican Presidential Primary Quiz:
I. Which of the following has Rick Perry not gotten wrong, so far, during his presidential campaign:
A) Number of Supreme Court justices
B) Legal voting age in the United States
C) Date of the election
D) Whether New Hampshire has a primary or caucuses
E) Number of stars on the Texas state flag
F) Name of the late leader of North Korea
G) Century in which the American Revolution was fought
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II. “I was born free!/Born free!/Free, like a river raging. … Wild, like an untamed stallion†is a quote from:
A) The opening of Rick Perry’s biography
B) Newt Gingrich’s third wedding vows
C) Mitt Romney’s campaign theme song
D) Ron Paul poem entitled “World Without Fedâ€
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III. Match the speaker:
1) “She was hot and got ratings.â€
2) “He’s a big cereal hound.â€
3) “I had dinner last night with Jim Perry. I was impressed with him.â€
4) “He’s on the battlefield right now fighting the battles God wants him to fight. The only way I get through it is daily Mass and keeping my prayer life in order.â€
5) “She hates Muslims. She hates them. She wants to go get ’em.â€
6) “… He really wants my endorsement. I mean, he wants it very badly.â€
A) Ann Romney on husband Mitt
B) Donald Trump on Mitt Romney
C) Donald Trump on Rick Perry
D) Karen Santorum on husband Rick
E) Roger Ailes on Sarah Palin
F) Ron Paul on Michele Bachmann
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IV. Finish the quote:
1. Rick Perry: “Maybe it’s time to have some provocative language in this country and say things likeâ€:
A) “Yippee Ki Yay.â€
B) “Nobody likes Mitt Romney. Face it.â€
C) “Close the Departments of Education, Commerce and, yes, Energy!â€
D) “Let’s get America working againâ€
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2. Ron Paul on border security: “Every time you think of a fence, keeping all those bad people out, think about maybe those fences being usedâ€:
A) “To keep in those alligators Herman Cain talks about.â€
B) “As building materials.â€
C) “Against us. Keeping us in.â€
D) “For 2,000 miles worth of graffiti.â€
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3. Michele Bachmann: “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believeâ€:
A) “In intelligent design.â€
B) “That vaccines cause mental retardation.â€
C) “That the founding fathers eliminated slavery.â€
D) “That I should be president of the United States.â€
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V. Match the money:
1) Said mortgage giant Freddie Mac paid him $300,000 for his advice “as a historian.â€
2) Double-dipping gets him a quarter-million in state salary and pension combined.
3) Got $68,000 for appearing at the International Franchise Association convention in Las Vegas.
4) Although he appears sort of unemployed, he actually made $970,000 last year.
A) Rick Santorum
B) Newt Gingrich
C) Mitt Romney
D) Rick Perry
*****
VI. Match the candidate with a high point from his book:
1) Mitt Romney
2) Herman Cain
3) Rick Perry
4) Ron Paul
5) Newt Gingrich
A) He’s “the kind of guy who goes jogging in the morning, packing a Ruger .380 with laser sights and loaded with hollow-point bullets and shoots a coyote that is threatening his daughter’s dog.â€
B) Tells the reader how to become the C.E.O. of Self.
C) “Chicken-hawks are individuals who dodged the draft when their numbers came up but who later became champions of senseless and undeclared wars when they were influencing foreign policy. Former Vice President Cheney is the best example of this disgraceful behavior.â€
D) His daughter and co-author tells about the time she averted a meltdown during a TV makeup session by begging her father to “Close your eyes and go to a happy place.â€
E) “I love jokes and I love laughing.â€
*****
ANSWERS:
I-E; II-C; III: 1-E, 2-A, 3-C, 4-D, 5-F, 6-B; IV: 1-D, 2-C, 3-A; V: 1-B, 2-D; 3-C; 4-A; VI: 1-E, 2-B, 3-A, 4-C, 5-D.
Get well, Siggy! :gate:
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! May 2012 be a healthy peaceful prosperous year for all of you!
Happy fookin’ New Year, y’all. Didn’t think I’d be awake, but I made it.
Wow pj – Wahoo!