Finally, it’s Friday. And the shitty weather of the past few days appears to be taking a turn for better. It’s actually supposed to be sunny and warm today. I had to come in rather early this morning because we were implementing a major change to one of our systems that had the potential to be a real nightmare if something went wrong (which would have been a bummer, since it’s me who wrote it). Fortunately, there were only a couple of minor glitches (so far, anyway – knock on wood), and it looks as though my early day can be parlayed into an early release for the weekend.
How ’bout that John Travolta, huh? Now he’s got a third dude saying he was sexually harassed by Vinnie Barbarino. I would suggest that Johnny get some psychiatric help, but, them people don’t believe in all that. But I think a few extra auditing sessions are called for, at the least.
So, have you seen this new Time Magazine cover? Of course you have – it’s big huge news (for some reason). I have to admit, it seems a bit odd to me to nurse your kid until he or she is, like, 4 or 5 years old. But, hey, what do I know. We didn’t have those newfangled breast thingies back in my day. All we had were bottles (and rubber nipples).
So, Mitt the bully prankster doesn’t remember being an asshole, but he clearly remembers that, if he was an asshole, it wasn’t because the kid he doesn’t remember assaulting being an asshole to was gay.
Sounds reasonable.
On Thu, 5/10/12, borowitzreport.comÂ
My School Days
By Mitt Romney
NEW YORK – (The Borowitz Report) – Today, presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney released the following open letter to the American people:
Dear Friends:
This week, The Washington Post reported an incident from my high school days in which I bullied a gay classmate by pinning him to the ground and cutting his hair off. This story revealed a side of Mitt Romney that may have been surprising to many of you: the Mitt Romney with an irrepressible and hilarious sense of humor.
Some of you may say, “Hold on, Mitt – isn’t holding a kid down and cutting off his hair going a little far?â€Â Well, the merry prankster in me tells me you can never go too far when it comes to giving the greatest gift of all: the gift of laughter. And I certainly remember many of us laughing long and hard about what I did to that Nancy-boy. Was it cruel? Perhaps, but it’s not like I tied him to the roof of a car or anything.
The Democrats have already tried to seize on this incident as evidence that I don’t like gays. That is a lie. I have nothing against gays. Except for the poor ones, of course. And as any of my high school chums can tell you, I did not go out of my way to pick on gay kids. I was also a total douche to many heterosexuals.
The fact is, boys will be boys. Who among us hasn’t shoved a crippled kid down a flight of stairs? That’s something else I did in those mischievous days, but the mainstream media isn’t reporting it because they want to turn this into an anti-gay thing. The fact is, when I was in high school I played pranks on everyone – blind kids, deaf kids, dwarves and Jews. Although come to think of it, I don’t think our school accepted Jews.
Now that I’ve put my actions into better context, I hope you’ll see this incident with the gay kid for what it was: innocent good fun. And I hope when you vote in November, you won’t judge me as the teenager who bullied one gay boy, but rather as the adult who fired thousands of people.
Vote for me,
Mitt Romney
He’s a mean rich kid who got away with this crap ’cause daddy was the governor…a lot like the last Rethug prez. Ugh!
So happy about Palemale & Co.
:blues: :blues: :blues: :blues: :blues: 🙁 :gate: :blues:
Holy Mackerel, Kingfish!
Guinness recognizes surfer for riding 78-foot wave
Palemale’s chicks are almost 2 weeks old.
http://www.palemale.com/may132012l.html
So Palemale isn’t a vegetarian, eh? :turkey: