To continue the recent “poop” theme here (stay classy, Seditionists!)…. I’m not sure why I’d want a terlet with a wireless remote control (unless I could keep it by my bed at night – the remote, that is, though having the toilet by the bed isn’t a bad idea, either; it would help tp keep me from stepping on dogs on the weay to the bathroom – and have it get up and take a piss for me), but if you’ve been hankerin’ for a fancy bidet-style system, Woot has some deals for you today (I would say “Woot has your ass covered,” but that sort of crass humor is beneath me).
Technically speaking, these aren’t entire toilets – merely fancy-schmancy seats. For, like, anywhere from $260 to $450. This may seem like a lot of money for a toilet seat, but, for instance, the $450 one supposedly goes for $1500! And I must say, the features did catch my eye.
Hybrid Instant Water Heating Technology
Patented 3 in 1 Nozzle with Vortex Technology
Stainless Steel Nozzle
Wider Water Stream
Bubble Infusion
Wireless Remote Control
Motorized Nozzle Cleaning
Patent Pending Hydro-Flush
Oscillating Wash
Massaging Wash
I mean, without providing “too much information,” I definitely could use the “wider water stream” and while I’ve never actually used a bidet (up here in the provinces, it’s foliage in the summer, junk mail in the winter), the bubble infusion, and oscillating/massaging wash sound rather intriguing. And if you can use the remote to precisely target the exact area you desire….
Let’s just say, it’s got possibilities, though if I were to design a bidet toilet seat, I would come up with something like a rotating dishwasher spray arm.
Oh well, at that price there’ll be no such refreshing moments in my day, but I guess I’d better get ready for work anyway. As I was leaving yesterday, I almost hit our pet deer whilst I was rounding the bend in our driveway. Had to slam on the brakes and everything as she ran out in front of me and over into the corn field. Scared the crap right out of me (and me without a proper bidet). And then her two kids came along a couple moments later.
Then it was dead raccoon day, as I had to drive past (and around) several raccoon road kills on the way to work. Hopefully there’ll be fewer perils and less death and destruction today.
I confess: I have never used a bidet. I have never wanted a bidet and living in NYC, where space is at a premium, I have never had an extra place to put a bidet. I guess I am deprived. On the insistance of our vet, we make do with Marcal toilet paper because it is made of recycled paper.
My exdaughter-in-law did have a very fancy and expensive toilet seat. I am not sure what it did though it was controlled by a remote. Unfortunately it had a rather short life as it stopped doing whatever it did rather soon after its installation. If it had been mine I am sure the remote would have managed to fall into the bowl very quickly. The remote for the TV is always finding ridiculous places such as the refrigerator to spend some time in its tireless efforts to provide us with entertainment that does not include changing channels.
So, how long would it take for a remote control fancy-schmancy ass-washing bidet take to pay for itself in toilet paper savings?
I will never understand the compulsion of manufacturers of gadgets & appliances to have everything remotely controlled. Maybe it’s just me, or maybe all this “remote controlling” is a metaphor for US being “remotely controlled” by powers that be because there are just so many goddam remote control thingos that you can’t remember what the hell thingo controls what the hell gadget. Who the hell needs a remote control for your goddam clock-radio?
Guess I’m just old.
I thought the “clicker” to change channels when the commercial came on was a great invention. Young people these days don’t know what “clickers” were — but I’ll betcha they can’t keep all the goddam remotes straight either! Sometimes I miss the Old Days of the clicker, but I would not want to go back there. I’d rather have the body I had then and the knowledge I have now in the here and now.
Maybe there’s a Budget Bidet out there somewhere on eBay with a clicker.
Suppose you wanted to switch from Oscillating Wash to Massaging Wash mid, um cycle, or change the water temperature? You wouldn’t want to have to get up and turn around and fiddle with the controls on the seat, would you?
As for cost savings, when you factor in the electricity for the pump and for heating the water vs. the cost of TP, I’m pretty sure it’s a wash (so to speak).
Oh, and SueP — I can totally relate to the stuff falling into the toilet when you are leaning over to flush. I know colleagues and friends who have had beepers & cell phones meet that fate & retrieval is not pleasant but flushing is less pleasant because then you gotta call the Physical Plant people and they get all pissed at you because you are the idiot that plugged up the plumbing with your goddam beeper. Geez. Ya gotta wonder if this indoor plumbing stuff is all it’s cracked up to be — it is fraught with hazards!
You’re five feet tall, why would you have to lean over to flush a toilet?
We have plenty of woods around the house – feel free to make use of them if the indoor plumbing is too much trouble. I guess at work there’s not much you can do besides hold it.