I got home Monday night, and the damned Internet wasn’t working. Or, more accurately, my connection to the Internet wasn’t working. So that sucked. I had to schedule a tech visit for the next day “between 8 and 12” and my satellite receiver keep freezing up when I played a recorded show for more than half an hour or so. So, no Internet, no NetFlix, and no teevee makes for a very dull evening. The tech guy didn’t get out here until 11:00 (not that I’m complaining – I’m usually just happy when they find the house), and it turned out to be a bad trap out at the road. So all was well again by 12:30 or so – obviously too late to drive 35-40 minutes to work.
Otherwise, it was a wet rainy day. Until last night, when it started to snow. There isn’t all that much where I live – a couple of inches, so I won’t bother plowing – but my drive in to work looks pretty shitty, and they’re saying we’re gonna wind up with about a foot of snow by the time the ends on Thursday. I’d prefer no snow at all, or so much snow that I can’t even think about driving to work. This in-between shit is just an annoyance.
So we officially found out that the CIA tortures people on our behalf for no apparent reason – or at least not for any useful information. So, do they do this because they get off on it? Were they initially “well-intentioned” and then just couldn’t help themselves? Or were there just not enough people that hated the United States of Hypocrisy already, and they wanted to make sure we’d have a never-ending supply?
I dunno. The only real news here is that the Senate Intelligence Committee actually had the guts to admit that this torture resulted in no useful information. I expect to see a flurry of indictments in the next few days.
Ha! Just kidding. You can’t get an indictment when you have clear video of a cop strangling a guy to death – you sure as hell aren’t gonna even begin to prosecute anybody over torturing a bunch of those terrorist sand you-know-whatters.
Cue up the Lee Greenwood.
Well, that sucked. Way more snow than I thought (or we got a ton of it between 6 and 7:30). At least 6″ of wet snow over ice-glazed roads. Took me about three times longer than it usually does to get to work.
Now I need a nap.
My brother-in-law e-mailed me to tell me we have about 16-18″ out where we live. And they closed the Town offices at noon.
http://youtu.be/nfW3PCUwvIc
http://youtu.be/uJU-cKMmuvk
Now we have snow. Not a lot but it’s still snow.
A much easier drive in this morning, thank goodness. It didn’t turn really shitty until I got about 5 miles from work – then it was snowing pretty hard and the roads were nasty.
We had at least a foot of snow in the driveway when I got home hast night, and that was after plowing the first six inches before I left. I would guess there was at least another 8 inches when I plowed this morning.
Our big storm just kicked in. I sure wish that it’s not as billed. I was hoping to leave a lot of free stuff on the sidewalk.
Yeah, that storm looks pretty nasty. I hope you guys get through it all OK. Tough time to have to finish moving.
Snow is an inconvenience, but floods and high winds are really destructive. Unfortunately, I think this will be the new norm for coastal areas.
The weather outside is frightful for all of you. Vern, I hope you got your vinyl collection inside and dry. We’ve had fog fog and more fog. Rain headed this way for the weekend.
Be safe all!
Hopefully dryish tomorrow. We are waiting until the afternoon to do it.
As a stand-upper myself, this is too, too!
Please Respect My Standing Desk While I’m on Vacation
BY ALEX J. MANN
Dear colleagues,
For once in my seven years of employment at this firm, I’d like to return from vacation to find that you respected my ergonometric life style and left my standing desk alone. This means not taking it apart and hiding the pieces for me to find in a scavenger hunt; not shipping my standing desk to the Hong Kong office to make it into an international joke; and not driving it around to New York City landmarks, photographing it, and then uploading the pictures into a slide-show screen saver.
In fact, please refrain from photographing my standing desk for any reason, including taking the annual softball-team photo of everyone pointing at it and laughing. Setting up a live Webcam feed of my desk is similarly unnecessary.
This should go without saying, but the treadmill attached to my desk is not to be tampered with in any way. I’m aware that there’s an annual tournament in which you crank up the treadmill to its top speed and see who can launch my office supplies the farthest. Per the company newsletter, Bill won last year by launching my pens, stapler, and computer a combined distance of thirty-six feet. I have still not been reimbursed for the cost of fixing the resulting damage. In the spirit of the holidays, please permanently discontinue the tournament.
Unfortunately, I’ll be away for the holiday party, at which I sincerely hope my standing desk will not be used as the bar or as a beer-pong table. I realize inebriation makes it even more difficult for you to resist vandalizing my desk with graffiti, but I’m pleading with you not to repeat last year’s events, which resulted in my desk being hurled out the window into oncoming traffic, thereby becoming an instant YouTube classic.
I should not have to get into this over company e-mail, but please do not fornicate on my standing desk. Ever since the incident with Keith and Claudia in 2009, which resulted in the termination of their respective marriages and the birth of little Denny—for whom I’ve felt an uncanny affinity since Claudia went into labor on my standing desk nine months later—the awkwardness has been distracting and counterproductive for us all. Also, I believe that Keith feels threatened by Denny calling me Dad.
While I’m flattered that little Denny considers me a father figure, my standing desk is not his personal jungle gym or punching bag. I wish his parents, whom I’m sure would not permit him to perform tricks on an elderly person’s walker, would educate their son regarding the proper treatment of the belongings of ergonomic-minded people.
Do not kick my standing desk when you pass. Do not leave sticky notes on my monitor reminding me how much you loathe the mere sight of my standing desk. Do not all chip in to purchase a bucket of neon orange paint to brighten up my standing desk. Do not purposefully sneeze on my standing desk or high-five people who do so. Do not begrudge an ergonomically innovative man his right to proper posture and a longer life while you Neanderthals hunch and slouch and rest your fat on your unevolved sitting desks.
Thanks, and happy holidays!
Alex
Cheney Calls for International Ban on Torture Reports
BY ANDY BOROWITZ
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former Vice-President Dick Cheney on Tuesday called upon the nations of the world to “once and for all ban the despicable and heinous practice of publishing torture reports.”
“Like many Americans, I was shocked and disgusted by the Senate Intelligence Committee’s publication of a torture report today,” Cheney said in a prepared statement. “The transparency and honesty found in this report represent a gross violation of our nation’s values.”
“The publication of torture reports is a crime against all of us,” he added. “Not just those of us who have tortured in the past, but every one of us who might want to torture in the future.”
Saying that the Senate’s “horrifying publication” had inspired him to act, he vowed, “As long as I have air to breathe, I will do everything in my power to wipe out the scourge of torture reports from the face of the Earth.”
Cheney concluded his statement by calling for an international conference on the issue of torture reports. “I ask all the great nations of the world to stand up, expose the horrible practice of publishing torture reports, and say, ‘This is not who we are,’ ” Cheney said.
I made the brief mistake of turning on Morning Joe to hear him blather about using torture to get info to save the country. So, inspite of the reports conclusion that torture did not ellicit actionable info, this is still the rallying cry for the righties to whom facts never mattered anyway.
It worked for Jack Bauer on 24, so we know torture is effective.
Nice photo of two hawks in an inflight argument from Lincoln.
http://www.palemale.com/
Mass “face sitting” protest outisde Parliament today.