It occurs to me that we’re not getting La Cosa Trumpa (remember when Mike Malloy used to refer to the “Bush Crime Family” – HA! Small potatoes. Now we’ve got the cast of Goodfellas running the show, with Joe Pesci as Communications Director) out of the White House anytime soon. I’m no expert on the law or what constitutes an impeachable offense (seems to me there’s plenty to choose from here), but I kind of understand the way things work, and given craven greed and cowardice of everybody who can actually do anything about this, I think it’s fair to say we’ll be lucky to get off with a four-year sentence, if not eight. What I do know is that majority rules in the Reichstag, and as long as what passes for the Republican Party these days thinks they can control their useful idiot Bohemian Corporal, they’ll stand with him. Or at least near him. At any rate, as long as these – for lack of a better term – people hold even a single vote majority, we’re stuck with this bunch (and even if they somehow managed to impeach this fucker, there’s no way 2/3 of the Senate will vote to convict. I mean, when it’s a huge “victory” to barely defeat this “skinny” repeal vote that nobody on either side actually wanted to see pass, it just aint gonna happen.

But, in case you didn’t realize it before, it’s been made painfully obvious to all of us (and, sadly, to the rest of the world) that any asshole can get elected President. Unlike, say, the British Monarchy, power here doesn’t come from divine right (or from some watery tart throwing a sword at you), rather it comes when the majority (sort of) of assholes elect you to be king of the assholes. So now we’re stuck with this orange turd that should have been flushed down the gold-plated commode a long, long time ago.

Well, so be it, I guess.

But if Congress can’t thwart the will of the assholes, I’m kind of hoping for some small gesture. Namely, I’d like them to enact legislation that requires a President-elect and any of his appointees (as condition of their confirmation) to pass a test (or series of tests). Nothing terribly difficult. Just so they understand things like how a bill becomes a law, and the whole three branches of government and separation of powers, and where the US Constitution comes from (that there in fact is a US Constitution, why our forefathers came up with it, that, no we have more than four fathers, that the whole inconvenient Bill of Rights thing is mandatory – not just the part where it says we get to have all the guns we want, all the time in our well-regulated militia-of-ones)…. You know, basic we were taught in public school that they apparently had to skip over in those elite boarding schools in order to make time for lacrosse practice and cheerleading or whatever it is they do in those places where the wealthy folks send their ne’er-do-well spawn to get them the fuck out of the mansion for a few years.

And if we can’t subvert the will of the assholes, if the newly elected President can’t pass the test, he (or she – ha! – that’s a joke, son) can keep retaking it, but in the meantime Congress can appoint a regent to handle all the basic, big-boy things that need to get done in order to keep the country functioning. Maybe one of those smart woman types that everybody seems to fear and loathe.

Nothing like having a mommy type around to settle down the boys, after all.