I was watching – trying to ignore, actually – an ad for Volvo’s President’s Day sale on Hulu the other morning and it declared something like “what we really love about America is that anybody can become President.” And they showed an ethnic and gender diverse collection of people who are apparently running in 2020 (or at least *could* be). And I thought, well, that’s not right. I’ll grant you that we might have slightly more ethnic diversity in our politics than Sweden does (I mean, I don’t really know that, but it seems like a safe bet), though the Riksdag (that’s the Swedish Parliament, and, no, I didn’t know that without looking it up) is something like 45% female, which is slightly more than double the percentage of women in the US House of Representatives (and the US Senate, too).

But as far as the Presidency goes, let’s face it. You have to be a dude (not counting Edith Wilson), and you pretty much have to be white – with one exception and he was half white and I don’t think we’re gonna have another one of those guys anytime soon. You also have to at least say you’re a Christian (you don’t actually have to *act* like one, of course – unless you get caught doing something immoral, in which case you can always invite Franklin Graham over for dinner to “pray” it away).

So, “sorry, Volvo,” I thought. But not anyone can be President here.

But then I thought maybe they weren’t talking about diversity (despite they happy shiny multicultural faces in their commercial). Maybe they meant that any fucking loser idiot can now be President of the United States, no matter how ignorant, immoral, incompetent, and downright disgusting.

If that’s what they meant, then I guess I have to reluctantly (sadly) agree with that. Truly, no bar is too low anymore.

Although I didn’t watch any of it (didn’t even know the score until I had it thrust upon me this morning), I’m sure that everybody (with the exception of my wife) knows that yesterday was the Super Bowl. There was a time when I cared about that, but that time has long since passed. And even if I actually did care, yesterday’s game was between two teams that I really can’t stand. Though I guess I hate New England more than I hate Philly, so other than a career-ending injury to Tom Brady on the opening play, I guess yesterday’s result was about as good as it could be.

Mostly, though, I don’t care.

Not so for our Dear Leader, though. He somehow found a way to carve time out of his busy schedule of tweetin’ and releasin’ memos and whatnot to host a Super Bowl party down at the Trump International Golf Club, where he was able to fondle ogle shake hands with a bunch of Florida Atlantic University cheerleaders. Sadly for Trump, his wife was there. Plus his boys Brady and Belichick came out on the short end of this one.

A darn shame.

Oh well, halfway to getting Monday over with. That’s about the best thing I can say about today.

I’m sure it will come as no surprise that I have absolutely zero intention of watching President Meathead (dead from the neck up) tonight. It hasn’t even happened yet, and I’m already sick of hearing about it. What will be worse will be in incessantly nauseating postgame reports telling us all how the monkey man was all adult acting because he managed to read off a teleprompter and not throw his feces or grab any pussy on his way in (a shame Michele Bachmann isn’t still around – I’m sure she’d relish the opportunity to have a real man shove his tongue down her throat). I don’t know what would be worse, looking at his stupid face, or looking at Eddie Munster and Vice Preznit Halfpence. This will be the equivalent of watching a Super Bowl game between New England and Philly – impossible to determine which one I hate the most. At least the Super Bowl has commercials.

It’ll be interesting to see Melanoma, of course. I’m sure she’ll be there, but the interesting thing will be to see if she gets as far away from him as possible, and if she’s sporting any new jewelry. I figure fucking a porn star and buying her with a six-figure payoff ought to be good for some nice shiny baubles. Though if I was her (a pretty repugnant thought – I don’t know what you ladies see in that guy), I’d have it appraised before I agreed to leave the house. Not that I think her beloved husband is a two-bit hustler who’d try to pass fakes off on her or anything.

So, anyhow, hopefully I’ll be spared from hearing about what a great job Trump is doing and how he’s acting like a grownup now (what was it the “liberal” NY Times called him after his brilliant Davos speech? A “pragmatist?”). I also don’t want to hear how Bob Mueller’s “closing in” or any of that shit, ‘cuz I honestly don’t believe anything will come of all this. Maybe a few lackeys will get thrown under the bus – and eventually be pardoned – but there’s no chance in hell that the boys in the House are gonna impeach the fucker, and even less chance that the Senate will convict.

Though I’m sure Susan Collins will give a courageous speech about how we cannot condone this sort of behavior – right before she votes to acquit. Hell, we might even have Senator Michele Bachmann from Minnesota by the time any of this goes down (and, you know, congrats on the whole getting rid of Al Franken thing). Maybe Al can run for President on the Green Party ticket next time around, with Jill Stein as his running mate. ‘Cuz as a registered Green Party member, I could totally get behind Franken Stein 2020. At the very least, I want the bumper sticker.

As long as Bernie “not a Democrat” Sanders isn’t in the mix again. Because I want a “real” Democrat to lose to Trump again, the way it’s supposed to be.

Oh well, if you’ve got the intestinal fortitude to watch preznit asshole tonight, good for you. You’ve got a stronger stomach than I have, that’s for sure. Maybe I could get through it with enough beer, there’s no way I could get through it sober. And I can’t afford to replace the teevee when I take a hammer to it, either.

After some pretty shitty weather, spring arrived a couple days ago and I got to walk around outside at lunchtime yesterday (without a jacket, even – it was about 55°). Of course that’s all about to end. While it’s still warm today, it’s raining. The rain, snow melt, and ice dams are all combining to create some pretty nasty flooding in places. Later on this evening the rain is going to turn to freezing rain and temperatures are supposed to drop to below zero. So everything that’s wet now is about to turn to ice. And then we’re supposed to get another 16″ of wet, heavy snow on top of the ice. Thank goodness tomorrow’s Saturday (and it’s a 3-day weekend, in honor of my dad’s birthday on Monday) or it would be a real hassle dealing with the morning (and evening) commute tomorrow.

At least this cold weather will make all those Norwegian refugees who are about to enter the country feel more at home. At least until they get sick and find out they don’t have healthcare anymore. Not to mention losing maternity leave, sick leave, unemployment, disability, and college tuition. Personally, I don’t understand why we’re not overrun with Norwegians already.

On the bright side, at least we don’t have to worry about mudslides. As much as I complain about the cold these days, I’d much rather have that than the mudslides, earthquakes, hurricanes, and tornadoes that all those shithole states get.

I’m off today, so I was able to do my storm preparation (which was basically to run the generator for a while to make sure I could get it started and roast a pound of coffee). In the olden days, I’d have made sure I had enough beer to make it ’til Tuesday but I guess those days are gone. At least for now.

I’d say that once I retire I’ll be able to pick that habit back up again, but it’s starting to look as though I was born just a few years too late for that retirement stuff.

But, hey, we all gotta do our part to help the rich get richer, right?

And good riddance to 2017, which pretty much sucked all the way around. I wish I thought things were gonna get better in 2018, but I have my doubts. Still, one can hope. Speaking of hope, I hope everybody had a safe (and warm) night last night, and you’re getting at least one more day off before diving back into the rat race tomorrow. Here, like a lot of places lately, it’s cold. Currently it’s about -7°, but it’s supposed to get to double digits (above zero) today. Wednesday is the big warm-up day with a predicted high of 23 or so, and then things get nasty cold once more. Not great standing on the corner waiting for the bus weather, that’s for sure. So I’m gonna plan on doing as little of that as possible. It’s not much of a New Year’s resolution, but it’s all I’ve got.

It’s Christmas, which is a very special time indeed. Sort of. I’m off, and my on-call stint ends at 8:00 AM, so that’s nice. The wife worked all weekend, but is off today (except for being on call), and although it’s a little to dark to see at the moment, it’s definitely a white Christmas (which isn’t exactly unusual – let alone “special”). What doubts anybody might have had about that ended with the 9 or so inches of snow we got on Friday and Saturday, though it did warm up just enough to rain for a while Saturday before it got cold and we got another few inches. Things are calm now, but the snow is supposed to start up again later on today (plus, as an added bonus, they say we’ll have 50+ mph winds). By tonight, we’re supposed to get something like another 8 inches or so, unless the wind shifts south and then we could get the two or three feet the folks up north are supposed to get. I only hope we can make it to the in-laws later today, because I can’t think of a better way to spend a day off.

To get myself into the holiday spirit, I just finished watching the four-part documentary Cold Blooded about the Clutter family murders (and of course, Truman Capote’s final novel, In Cold Blood).

You’ve probably seen “Capote” but if you haven’t, you missed a really amazing performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. I guess you have to be a certain age to appreciate the job he did. A kid today really wouldn’t get it, but those of who grew up watching Truman Capote on Dick Cavett or trading insults with Gore Vidal.

Most folks my age are probably familiar with the book, at least, and probably the 1967 movie. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the movie, so I was surprised when they mentioned that one of the murderers – Dick Hickock – was played by Scott Wilson, who went on to play Herschel in “The Walking Dead” (though I did remember that the other murderer – Perry Smith – was played by Robert Blake, which may or may not have been typecasting, depending on what you believe).

So now I need to find myself a copy of the movie and watch it again. Maybe tomorrow if we (fingers crossed) get snowed in. Nothing like a quadruple homicide to get you in the Xmas mood.

Anyhow, Happy Christmas if you’re into that sorta thing. And if you’re not, well, I hope you at least have the day off.

It’s special election day down in Alabama, and by the end of the day I predict we’ll have a fitting replacement for Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III in the United States Senate. Although polling suggests a tight race, I predict that when all is said and done Roy “Grandpa” Moore and his micropistol will wind up with an easy win.

Because, hey, it’s Alabama where the popular sentiment is pretty much, “hey, my cousin was only 14 when I married her, so what’s the big deal?” And we don’t want the goddamn godless liberals and lyin’ media telling us who to vote for, now do we? So congrats to Roy and the rest of good old boys (and the women girls who love them) down there in the Heart of Dixie.

This one’s for you.

Well, finally, our long national nightmare is over, and our brave Democratic “leaders” have erased the stain of the serial kisser, “hands-on” junior Senator from Minnesota. Particular thanks goes out to my two Senators – Chuck Schumer and Kirstin Gillenbrand – who led the way. Well, Chuck didn’t lead the way so much as jump in at the end, but it was still a bold move on everybody’s part. Bold, because now, surely, the Republicans will be shamed into withdrawing support for Roy Moore and his ridiculously tiny pistol (I mean, I’m not a gun guy, but I fail to see where waving that little thing around would even impress the teenage girls at the shopping mall), and will be calling upon Obergropenführer Donald Drumpf to resign.

Now, full disclosure, I’m a man. And as such, I’m not actually entitled to have an opinion on any of this stuff. Or, more accurately, I’m only entitled to have exactly one opinion and that opinion needs to be absolute because nuance is not allowed (it’s kind of like the “zero tolerance” for drugs in school thing – I don’t care if it’s only aspirin that your mother gave you to take to school because you’re feeling kinda crappy, you’re expelled!). Being a typical wishy-washy liberal type, I have very few absolute opinions (beyond pedophilia is bad and if you hurt an animal, you should be shot. I guess if I was a Christian, I could do away with both of those). As such I don’t really have anything to say about any of this, other than I’ll be proud when the seven ideologically pure Senate Democrats are taking the high road against their 42 Republican counterparts – and Bernie Sanders.

This is of course all part of that great Democratic strategy that lost the House, lost the Senate, lost the White House, and lost the Supreme Court. You know, that strategy where they eat their own but the “leadership” chides their members for even mentioning the “I” word – let alone voting for it. I mean, can’t rock the boat when things are going so well, right?

Now, I obviously don’t know Al Franken. His humor is sometimes funny, but often kind of schlocky. His writing has been brilliant at times. Maybe he’s a dirtbag, I don’t know. He strikes me as more of a touchy-feely old-school showbiz type than a sexual predator. But, hey, what do I know?

So maybe the country is better off with a guy like Al Franken out of the Senate. I don’t know.

What I do know is that the Democrats are Making America Great Again.

If I could, I’d award them the Neville Chamberlain “Profiles in Courage” award.

Sad day around here today. The cat we rescued from a life on the streets about 18 years ago moved on last night. We never called her anything other than “Mama Kitty” because she had a little of kittens within a few months of her arrival. And she was kind enough to take on a kitten whose mother was killed by a car. Now she joins two of her children – Ed and Trixie – in kitty heaven.

So long, Mama Kitty.

2000 – 2017

OK, we all know men are horrible disgusting bastards. That’s a given, and if you want a better government, you need to elect more brave women who will put country before party and never sell out to K-Street lobbyists. So I’d just like to give a shout out to these brave Republican women:

Shelley Moore Capito – West Virginia
Joni Ernst – Iowa
Lisa Murkowski – Alaska
Susan Collins – Maine
Deb Fischer – Nebraska

There are only five of you, but at least we know we can count on you when push comes to shove. I look forward to the day when there are at least 25 Republican women senators to throw working people under the bus. Heck, there may even be a future Republican Senator amongst the unborn that this tax bill declares a

…child in utero, and the term child in utero means a member of the species homo sapiens, at any stage of development, who is carried in the womb.

Hey, what could go wrong with that (I’m actually kind of surprised there wasn’t a Republican Party revolt over the use of the word “homo,” so kudos to them for slipping that one in there)? Especially when weighed against issues that are truly important to women, like drilling in ANWR, increasing depreciation limits on luxury vehicles, private school deductions, and private jet write-offs. I mean, the ever-heroic Susan Collins even got “assurances” that they won’t be cutting Medicare so that’s, like, great.

Now, I’ve seen a lot of anger, hand-wringing, and righteous indignation over this bill and a process that codifies into law a tax structure that will be with us probably for the rest of my life without it having actually been completely written (never mind read – except by the lobbyists that wrote it, of course) and which increases the national debt by, what a trillion or a trillion and a half dollars? Whatever. Not a big deal – I’m pretty sure working folks and those of us who thought we’d be able to retire before we die can pick up the slack here.

I even saw one Democrat quoting Bernie Sanders’ take on this bill, which I thought was odd because if I’ve learned anything from Twitter, it’s that Bernie is “not a Democrat” and should shut the fuck up. Thank goodness we dodged that bullet.

Now, I know, this whole process is dominated by men, and they’re the ones to blame for all this. But we’ve already stipulated to the fact that all men suck, so we’re not surprised by what they do anymore (except maybe for jerking off into a potted plant, which I must confess surprises – actually bewilders – even me, and I used to be a projectionist a porn theatre, so I’ve seen some pretty nasty shit – which of course refers to German porn. I don’t know what it is with those people). But I thought perhaps a couple of these women (and that’s all it would’ve taken) could be held to at least as “high” a standard as Bob Corker, who was the only Republican to vote no on this shit.

Guess not.

You have to hand it to the Republicans, though. They managed to use the cover of a late Friday night development combined with the distraction of the Flynn guilty plea to gloss over this whole thing. Pretty nifty move – while Democrats (or Progressives or Liberals or maybe just rational human beings) were all agog over Flynn’s apparent “flip” (that will probably, at best, lead to a few Presidential pardons – if you think there’s anything than can get Trump impeached and removed from office, you’re nuts. It’s a political process, and if you think Collins, Murkowski, McCain – assuming he’s still alive – or any of these other tough-talking Senate “mavericks” will do anything other than toe the party line, then you’re in for yet another disappointment, though articles of impeachment won’t actually ever make it out of the House so no need to worry about that anyway), they rammed this through. And everybody gets paid.

Well, not everybody. Just the people who already have everything – but still need more, more, more – in the first place.

But, hey, maybe I’m just grumpy. A while back, I was forced to endure yet another birthday. Not that there was much to endure, of course. It barely gets a mention, which is fine by my. The last birthday that actually meant something to me was my 18^th, when I finally became eligible to drink, vote, and register for the draft. And I was living in Buffalo at the time, where the bars were open until 4:00 (signalling the beginning of the end of my first college career and any promise I once might have shown of being a productive human being – not to perpetuate the stereotype, but it’s a lot like the old joke about God inventing whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world).

Turning 30 was kind of interesting, I guess. It was a number I wasn’t convinced I’d ever reach but other than that it didn’t mean much to me (was I supposed to feel old? God, I was still a kid – if only I could be 30 again, only not quite so stupid). Even 50 didn’t have an effect on me one way or another. Mostly, birthdays leave me feeling bemused and apathetic. Apathetic, because I really don’t care, and bemused because, holy shit, has that much time really passed?

This year, though, for some reason my birthday pissed me off. And it wasn’t even any kind of a milestone year. Maybe it’s because my shit seems to hurt all the time (used to be different shit would hurt, but now it seems like all my shit hurts all the time – though sometimes some shit hurts more than others). Maybe it’s because I haven’t had a beer in, like, a year and a half. Or food (good food – and by “good” I of course mean “bad”). Or maybe it’s the current state of affairs in this country (and the world), or the growing realization that even though I’m old it’s starting to look like I won’t be able to retire (depending on what these bastards do to Social Security). Maybe it’s because SU football sucks (though that’s nothing new), or maybe it’s just that after a really shitty summer, I face the prospect of another goddamn winter (and I live way too close to The Wall). And Standard Time SUCKS!

I don’t know. Whatever it is, it’s making me feel old and tired and just plain pissed off in general.

Which is odd, because I normally have such a sunny disposition.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody. It’s a bittersweet holiday for me, personally. On the one hand, it’s always great to get a day off. On the other hand, I have to go and hang out with the in-laws for what will no doubt feel like hours. Usually very tense hours as I watch my wife squirm and look for a way to leave me alone with her parents while she goes and hides somewhere. She just doesn’t seem to have mastered the art of ignoring everything that her parents say (I don’t know why – she’s pretty good at ignoring everything I say).

Me, I just try to snap off the circuit breaker that connects my brain to my ears and do that whole married guy smile and nod thing, as best I can. Fortunately actual responses to the myriad of questions that arise aren’t actually required of me – though because my job is vaguely related to “the computer” I’ll probably be pressed into doing some tech support. Which wouldn’t be an issue if my mother-in-law understood the concept of “one question at a time” (not to mention, I can’t actually look at something while you’re jabbering away over my shoulder) which she really doesn’t. I don’t get halfway through one response before I get 20 other questions.

Then there’s having to convince everybody that I’m not actually kidding when I say I don’t want to eat this, that, or the other thing, or that, yes, I am full and no, I don’t want any more. And I don’t want gravy, or pie, or ice cream, or a shitty Coors Lite – I appreciate your concern, but (especially theses days) no means “no.”

I have no desire to talk politics, either. That’s not a conversation that’s going anywhere good (they don’t get cable tv so they can’t watch Fox News but my mother-in-law is a big Glenn Beck fan – did you know he’s from Everett, WA? Must be something in the water – and my father-in-law was a Nazi, so to the extend that he actually knows what’s going on these days, I’m sure he’s a big Trump fan).

Mostly, I just wanna stay home. Sitting around alone (except for the dogs) on Thanksgiving might sound lonely and depressing, but to me it sounds kind of peaceful.

On the bright side, once tomorrow’s festivities are over, other than being on-call, I’m off until next Tuesday.

Of course sad news this week in that David Cassidy died. We watched the Partridge Family when I was a kid (back in the days of 4 channels, so not a lot of choice) but I can’t say I was a big fan or anything (more of a Cowsills kinda guy I guess), but it’s always sad to see somebody die so young. And by young, I mean anybody within about 20 years of my age – an ever-moving target.

Anyhow, whatever it is you do today, I Hope you have a good one. Rest up, because I know you’ll wanna get out there bright and early for all those Black Friday deals (not that you have to wait until tomorrow, of course, when you can head out to Walmart, Best Buy, Target, and a host of other truly American institutions that don’t give a shit for their employees or the American way of life and will be open today).

Don’t forget – only 32 days (remember when they used the quaint phrase “shopping days” because there were actually days when you couldn’t shop?) until X-mas.