Every morning as I lie in bed waiting for it to be late enough to get up, I do an inventory of my body parts to see which ones are likely to make my life difficult in the coming day. I consider it a “Level One” diagnostic. And when I say body parts, I’m really talking about my extremities (joints, mostly). My internal organs are a different matter. Lots of them are troublemakers – especially my brain, which tends to be a constant source of irritation to both myself and others.

So I kind of lie still and see if anything hurts (usually if that’s the case, I’m already aware of it – and have been all night long). Then I start moving things. Stretch out the achilles tendons one at a time, rotate the ankle, wiggle the toes, work up to the knees and so on). Of course you can never really tell for sure what’s gonna cause trouble until you start moving around, but since I don’t really have anything else going on and there’s no point in getting the dogs all riled up until the heat’s been on for a few minutes and the water heater’s had a chance to warm the water up enough to take a shower, there’s not much else to do. Plus it helps keep my mind off the fact that I have to go to work.

It seems like at least one thing hurts every day (more than normal amount of aches and pains that I’ve come to tolerate with each passing year, which is something you hear about from your parents when you’re a kid – or at least I did. My mother would say “I’ve got a pain” and my dad would say, “everybody’s got pains” – but you never really understand what it means until you get there yourself).

Lately it’s been something different every day. One day the ankle, another the toe, then the elbow, both feet, shoulder, wrist…. The weather certainly doesn’t help. It’s something like -5° this morning (at least according to the Weather Channel – my digital thermometer is currently only displaying the “-” sign. I think it’s sick of the cold, too), and it’s mostly been cold all winter long.

Yesterday the elbow was a problem. There’s a spot right there on the pointiest part that hurts to touch or when I straighten that arm out all the way. It feels like I whacked it on something, actually. But I didn’t and it’s not red or swollen and seems to be a recurring phenomenon, so I don’t think I just happened to whack it and don’t remember (though not remembering shit is always a possibility – yesterday I parked in a different area and I wandered around the parking lot trying not to look like an idiot trying to find my car).

Anyhow, the elbow hurts again today, but the pain has fallen to the degree of “background noise,” so that’s good. Everything else seems to be at the “everybody’s got pains” level, too. At least so far – you never can tell what the day will bring.

I found there’s a thing called “Clean Monday” this week. That of course is followed by Shrove Tuesday and then Ash Wednesday. So I figured, shit, there’s gotta be a name for today, right?

Turns out, yes there is. It’s “Bacon Thursday.” I’d say it’s only a made up thing, not an official Catholic one, but then all the official Catholic ones are made up too, so what the hell? And it’s got both a Facebook page, and a page on “Yolasite” so it must be legit. Turns out, it’s not about Kevin Bacon, but rather it’s supposedly because yesterday was “meatless” and all the Fridays during Lent are meatless (back in my day, every Friday was meatless. Kids these days don’t know how lucky they have it), so today Catholics eat bacon. Or something like that. From Yolasite:

History:

Bacon Thursday was first observed in 2009 by Thomas Rohn of Chicago, IL. The practice has spread rapidly, and now whole numbers of people celebrate Bacon Thursday.

See that? Whole numbers of people celebrate this day. It’s not one of those holidays that only fractions of people celebrate! Like Groundhog Day. Only about 1/8th of me celebrates that one.

Well, time to get ready to get out there and bring home the bacon, I guess. Stay warm, folks.

First off, let me say that, thanks to yesterday’s technical difficulties, you missed an incredibly delightful Fat Tuesday post. It was not only intelligent and insightful, but there wasn’t even a mention of the weather. Oh well, maybe next year.

On the odd chance that anybody is interested (or maybe somebody out there is experiencing the same problem and is looking for a solution), here’s what happened…. I was able to add a post, but when I tried to publish it, more or less nothing happened. The post went into “Draft” status and the content was empty. I managed to get some content filled in, but couldn’t get the sucker to post. I even went into the table and edited the status directly. No joy.

Being too busy playing Need for Speed Rivals, I didn’t have a chance to look at it until this morning, when I saw I was getting this Javascript error:

window.wp.autosave.local.suspend is not a function

To make a long story a bit shorter, there’s a WordPress plugin called Jetpack that includes a lot of nifty little things, including a somewhat annoying pre-post proofreader. Turns out there’s some kind of a bug in that (which doesn’t seem to affect all WP installations – and in fact wasn’t a problem here until yesterday. At least, not that I noticed). So, anyway, I turned off Jetpack, and so far so good.

Unfortunately, while I was screwing around with that last night, I managed to bugger up the HTML Quick Tags bar on the comment form. I don’t think the two things are related (the comment thing is an old plugin that probably is long past its useful life), but I have yet to fix it or find a new plugin that works. Until I figure something out, consider this a marvelous opportunity to learn some basic html.

And when you find yourself thinking “Christ, this is tedious and boring” while you’re trying to add a link or a blockquote or something, imagine having to do that all day long, every day of your life in an airless, windowless dark hole of an office.

If that doesn’t depress you, nothing will.

This town’s a wreck. There was a murder right near one of the most popular restaurant and theaters in town, and the police department is confounded as to who did it- as far as I know. The local news has short segments asking the public for any information on the case, and I sure hope they get it because I don’t like the idea of a killer on the loose.

I imagine a time when cameras with facial and plate recognition are so pervasive that there would be no doubt or delay with naming a suspect. I can also envisage these cameras being as small as stickers and virtually undetectable.

Speaking of crime, I have a gut feeling that a friend -at least that’s what I called him at one time- may be involved in something. I don’t have rock-solid evidence, but I sure as hell hope I’m wrong with my gut feeling. There was a bizarre disappearance in an area called Meadow Lakes near Wasilla. A snowmobile was found between two trees with the driver nowhere in site – but a lone glove was left by the machine. A little O.J.-esque, if you ask me. A few weeks later a body was recovered that was determined to be the missing snowmobiler, but I’m assuming that since it took so long to find the corpse it must have been moved or the snowmobile was moved from the scene- most likely both. I know all this because it was in the paper.

The reason this is concerning to me is that a few months ago, back in August or September of last year, the guy I had called my friend had said something along the lines of doing something that would be the saddest song that he knew – Between Two Trees. This was said in Meadow Lakes, where his dad’s place is. I was there for a BBQ. I was drinking heavily and I think that’s why he said this to me because he figured I wouldn’t remember. The only reason I remember this conversation was because of how bizarre and out of character it was. I told him that I had never heard that song, but I’ve heard of Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis, and then I looked it up on his phone because he had never seen it. He told me that he would have an alibi, and that whatever was going to happen wouldn’t be him, though snowmobilers are never good guys.

I know all this seems crazy. Believe me, it does to me too. I talked to the guy a few nights ago to see if I could get any information about it, and he had mentioned getting and carrying a shotgun for bear protection on one of his long bike excursions. I know he has a criminal history, and he can’t legally carry weapons or even legally drive. I don’t know if there was a weapon involved with the snowmobiler, but a shotgun is one possibility. Now, if and whenever I get real-solid evidence, I will go straight to the authorities. As of right now, my suspicion is very little merit with a strong foundation of proof. It would be too little to act on for authorities, and it would make me seem like a paranoid individual if I went to the troopers right now.

The thing is though, I don’t even know if he was in the area during the time of the disappearance. He was in Portland in the latter half of the year, and now he’s in Seward at AVTEC. If he was in Meadow Lakes during December, then that puts him in proximity to the crime. If he wasn’t there, then my assumption is that he knew something was going to go down months in advance, but may not have had direct involvement. The questions in my head about all this are too great. Like I said, if I had something solid, I’d know what to do.

I hate putting real names on the internet. If he didn’t have any involvement, then I would surely hate myself for implicating him in all this. If he did have involvement and finds out that it was me that said something, then I’d be worried for my safety.

Finally, we come to the end of the longest short month on the calendar (right? This isn’t leap year, is it? I lost track after they fucked with the Olympics). While we did manage to dodge the foot-o-snow they predicted (incorrect weather forecasts – how unusual), it’s still really goddamn cold out there, and my wife informs me that, while the driveway was passable this morning, it could use a “quick” plow (it’s about 3° out there, so “quick” goes without saying). February, for the most part, has pretty much sucked and I’ll be happy to see it in the rear view mirror (not that March is shaping up to be much better – at least to start. Comes in like a lion and goes out like a mountain lion and all that). At least when March gets out there, you know there’s light at the end of the tunnel and only six more weeks of winter.

I bought Greek yogurt the other day. Not on purpose, really – it was all they had that wasn’t in the little tiny cups. I had no idea what the difference was between that and “regular” yogurt, but I know it’s gotten to be a big deal, which is good for the local economy (‘cuz yogurt is made from milk, and one thing we’ve got a lot of around here is cows. And chickens). So I read up about it, and apparently they strain it multiple times until it comes out really thick and slightly chalky, so it’s got like 2-3 times the protein and less carbs (and no fat if you buy the fat free stuff). I wasn’t overly thrilled at first, but with some blueberries in there, I got used to it and developed a taste for it (I think the shit would work really well as joint compound and/or spackle, too).

Well, I guess I’d better get some work done before I go out and plow.

I opened up the lo-cal newspaper site this morning (the word “newspaper” strikes me as something destined to become a quaint old term that will hang on for a while, though only old people will remember where it comes from – like “icebox” or “dialing” a phone), and this is the headline (there’s another one) I was greeted with:

Over a foot of snow, 45 mph gusts and bitter cold in store :omg:

Time to finish my coffee and go back to bed, I think.

Fortunately, it appears they were talking about the folks just to the north of us, though we’re due for cold and wind and snow, too. Just not quite as much (as always around here though, it depends on which way the wind blows).

Have I mentioned that I’m tired of winter?

So, Jan Brewer has done the right thing and vetoed Arizona’s “it’s OK to discriminate against people you don’t like as long as Jesus told you to” law. I would hesitate before praising her as the most wonderful white raisin in the desert, though. She clearly stuck a finger or two up into the air to see which way the wind was blowing before acting.

While perusing the Crap Post this morning, I noticed a headline of “A ‘Bachelor’ Contestant Just Exposed The True Reality Of The Show” so I figured I’d click on it, and I was shocked. Shocked to read that this piece of dreck has been on for 18 years. 18 years! Do you remember when it was a big deal that Gunsmoke ran for 20 years on the teevee? Not that I was much of a fan (of the tv show – the radio show, however, is great), but at least it was a real show and not something dumb fake reality thing.

Anyhow, if you care, the big “secret” revealed was that the bachelor in question is an asshole. Big surprise there.

Wine Woot has a deal on “Truffle Butter and Duck Fat” this morning, for all those interested. Never tried either of those things, but they sound rather disgusting to me. And duck fat sounds like something you’d use to waterproof your boots.

Oh well, time to go make my breakfast. Like my dad, I’ve long been allergic to eggs (not in the “break out in hives” sense, but in the “get all bloated and feel like shit for a few hours” sense). So I’ve decided to eat two eggs every morning until I get over it. I’m on about day five now. :yuck: It’s working quite well.

It was way up there in the 40s yesterday (for a while, then it got colder and snowed like hell for a few hours) and today they claim it may get to 50. Then the roller coaster starts downhill again and it’s supposed to go back to being really friggin’ cold next week. And so it goes. I’m tired of it.

And I’m tired of work (not working in general, just the mind-numbingly dull shit I do day in and day out, mostly sitting in a shitty windowless office next to a door that you have to enter a code to open, so it goes “beep beep beep beep beep…beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep” all day long, except 78% of the fucking idiots that work in my area are too stuipd to get the code right, and/or are too stupid to turn the door handle before trying to open it, which means the door goes “bang bang bang” and the piece of frosted glass that would allow us to look out over the stairway if it wasn’t’ frosted glass shakes and rattles and makes you jump out of your skin every time it happens and it happens basically every five to seven minutes all day long except for a couple hours around lunch when it’s more like every thirty seconds – I swear to baby jeezus they stand out there and wait to enter one at a time).

I’m not even there today, and it’s making me irate just thinkingabout it. But you know what I’m really tired of? Obama palin’ around with terrorists, that’s what.

Here he is yucking it up with Comcast CEO Brian Roberts (and World Bank Prez Jim Kim. Yeah, Jim Kim) at Martha’s Vineyard last summer.

Roberts and Comcast are big Obama donors (not that he doesn’t spread it around to other folks, of course), so what do you think the odds are that the DOJ (or FCC or FTC) are going to oppose the Comcast/Time Warner merger that will be the beginning of the end of the Internet (and Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, etc). There’s already pretty clear evidence that Comcast (consistently rated among the absolute worst companies in America, by the way) – in clear violation of the agreement it made when the government allowed them to buy NBC Universal – is already throttling traffic from Netflix over its network (which I’m sure has nothing to do with Comcast’s Xfinity Online Streaming service – which, BTW, doesn’t count against a Comcast subscriber’s monthly data limits).

When a single company both owns the content and controls the means of distributing said content, guess who gets screwed? Hint: it won’t be Obama. In fact I bet Brian and Jim will even keep letting him win at golf.

So you better binge watch House of Cards while you still can, ‘cuz pretty soon you’re gonna have to take whatever Comcast decides you should have (kind of like Apple, come to think of it).

Oh well at least it’s Friday. Normally, I’d be happy about that, but this week, not so much. My friend John is making me go out tonight to see some live music. In theory, I like live music, and I even might enjoy leaving the house. In practice, however, it means I have to do laundry and put on some clothes and leave the house at night in the dark and stay up way past my bedtime. Plus I’ll have to be seen in public, which I try to avoid unless absolutely necessary.

This is kinda how I feel:

Going to work this morning sucked, but at least the ride in was nice. Well, except for the douchebag who insisted on going 40 mph (max) for about a 15 mile stretch in a 55 zone. It was a crystal clear night last night, and the 93% waning gibbous moon lit everything up brilliantly (one advantage to being blanketed in snow – even moonless nights are bright).

Clear skies meant somewhat chilly temperatures, though – below zero, for a change. The coniferous trees are all dusted with snow, and the naked branches of the other trees are coated with ice. With the sun and bright blue skies, everything looked absolutely magical this morning.

It was nice to see the sun, especially since we’re due for more snow tomorrow. As of Saturday, we were officially up to 99.9″ for the season (more than that where I live, though), and since it snowed all day yesterday, I assume we’re over a hundred now.

If it wasn’t for having to go to work, I really wouldn’t mind the snow and cold at all. It’s much better to look at than brown grass and mud. I’d be quite content to tromp around in the woods in my snow shoes. In fact, looking at my show shoes hanging up in the garage this morning, I thought to myself, “gee, I ought to actually use them one of these days.” But then I remembered how much my feet start to hurt when I walk a little bit these days. So, like, never mind.

Oh well, back to work I guess.

The National Science Foundation recently surveyed a bunch of Americans to see what they knew about science as part of a report to be sent to Congress and the Prez. I know this because a British daily paper – The Independent – wrote a story about it in today’s edition. To be fair I also saw it on the USA Today website – along with a link to a “related” item about “How giant rats could someday rule the Earth.” Hint: Phase One was to take over both houses of the US Congress.

Anyhow, according to the survey, if you’re in a car pool with three other people (hah! Trick premise. This is America we’re talking about), one of them will not know that the Earth orbits the sun. Yes, only 74% of Americans know that. They didn’t list the other responses, but I assume they ranged from something like “the Sun goes around the Earth – duh!”, to “whut’s uh oar-bit?” and “because Jesus.”

Also, 61% of Americans do not believe that the universe began with the “big bang.” This one is quite distressing to me. I mean, it’s, like, the #1 sitcom on teevee people – all you have to do is listen to the theme song!

And 52% of Americans don’t believe in evolution, which means half the people in our fictional car pool are godless heathens who hate Jesus.

42% of Americans apparently think that astrology is either “very scientific” or “sort of scientific” (‘cuz, like, it ends in “ogy” so it’s gotta be kinda sorta sciency, right?).

On the bright side, over half of us (51%) realize that antibiotics don’t kill viruses (the other 49% of course run to the doctor demanding – and getting, damnit! – an antibiotic every time they feel “the flu” coming on). And only a little more than 10% of Americans believe the dangers of science outweigh any potential benefits (this is the same percentage of people who, when questioned about it, responded “FIRE BAD!“.

Yesterday it finally quit snowing for a while and the sun even came out late in the day. But it looks like it snowed some more overnight (how unusual), but the temperature has edged it’s way up into double digits (just barely). I guess I need to determine whether or not I need to plow the driveway. Or maybe just go back to bed.

You’ll no doubt be happy to hear that, with this last little burst of snow, Syracuse has now taken the lead in the Golden Snowball race with 95.2″ for the season so far – about half an inch ahead of Buffalo. Now that Lake Erie is frozen solid (that’s not unusual, but a rather astonishing 90% of the Great Lakes is frozen this year – including almost a third of Lake Ontario, which tends to be the least frozen of them, ‘cuz it’s so deep relative to its surface area(, we shouldn’t get much competition from them. Sadly, it appears that Erie PA has an insurmountable lead of almost 15″ on us. At least, I hope it’s insurmountable, ‘cuz I’m tired of winter. Unfortunately we get, on average, another 34″ of snow before the end of the season so odds are it aint over yet.

This morning, however, it’s all the way up to 27 degrees above zero, on the way to a high of…. Well, only 29. But that should feel pretty good. And we’re only supposed to get a few snow fluffies today (of course they lied to us yesterday, so you can’t count on it). I’m gonna have to get out there and clean up the driveway while it’s warm out. It’s gotten a bit narrow, and I’ll probably need to take the plow off so I can use the bucket to move the snow around – the pile at the end of the driveway is way higher than the car now, so it’s kinda hard to see what’s coming.

After today they say things will cool off again – and then get warm! They predict a high of 47 for next Friday! Of course, they tend to change their minds on that stuff. Today, 47. Tomorrow, 43, Monday 39 and by next Wednesday it’ll be a high of 12 and 15″ of snow. So we’ll see what really happens.

Still, we’re more than half way through February now, so in a couple of weeks it’ll be March, and if I see my shadow on March 2nd, it means there’ll only be six more weeks of winter.

We watched the first three (or maybe even four) episodes of the second “season” of House of Cards last night. I won’t spoil it for you, but there was a bit of a shocker right there in episode 1 (or 14, depending on how you’re counting). Not sure how long we can make this last, so I hope Orange is the New Black comes out soon.

Oh well, time for some more coffee, and then maybe a nap.

We were told that this latest winter storm (which the Weather Channel has decided to lamely label “Pax” – I mean, if you’re up to “P”, why not go for Patrick?) would stay well to the east of us, and we’d only get a few inches of snow. Like maybe four, tops (ha – Four Tops). It appears that we were lied to.

While we didn’t get as much as a lot of places, it’s looking like we got something like a foot of snow. It’s hard to tell ‘cuz it’s too dark for me to see, but based on what I can see on the back porch it looks like I’ll have to get out there and plow the driveway so UPS can get in so my wife can get out. What a pain.

OK, just got back in from plowing. There was way more snow than I thought, and while they said it was supposed to stop snowing by sunrise, it appears we were lied to yet again, ‘cuz it’s still snowing out there. Just spent over an hour out there in the cold and wind, and am pretty darn stiff (and not in a good way) and cold. I really need to get a plow truck this summer.