I saw a story on the Crappington Post (which, in true CP fashion, was actually referencing a story on TMZ) that said Sam Donaldson had been arrested for DUI. So, when I saw the accompanying headline on the page that read, “White House Reporters Hammered During Obama Press Conference,” I naturally assumed they broke out the eggnog a little early.

Sadly, it turned out to be a story on how they were “hammered” for asking Pecuniary Precipice questions during his press conference on gun control (I mean, it’d be like somebody going to a Jim Boeheim presser and asking basketball questions). And of course “hammered” meant there were several somewhat irate “tweets” about it. Oh, Huffington Post, your headlines always get me. This is mostly because, from what I understand, they run their headlines through SEO software (that’s Search Engine Optimization) in order to ensure as many clicks as possible.

This is why headlines like “Reid Slams Boehner” (which I think is actually a chapter in 50 shades of gray) turns out to be something like Harry Reid says Speaker Boehner “is mistaken if he believes the Senate will pass ‘Plan B’.”

He should have called it “Plan 9.”

Speaking of gun control, whattya think? Will they pass anything? Or will it all just fade away with the holiday season (until the next time some nut gets hold of mom’s assault weapons). I kind of think if they do pass something, it will be some watered down piece of shit littered with loopholes and exceptions.

In fact, everybody’s second-favorite assault weapons poster girl (behind Patty Hearst) Diane Feinstein was proud to announce that her new bill “…includes exemptions for more than 900 specific weapons.”

So, that should work, right?

Today is the last day of Autumn, and the weather around here is expected to follow the plan and turn cold. It seems we’ll have a white Christmas this year after all. This isn’t exactly something I’ve been dreaming of, though I will admit that everything looks a lot nicer when there’s snow covering the dormant grass and leafless trees.

Speaking of Christmas (or, at least, the holidays) my little work group is having it’s celebration today (we’re thinking of it as the Pre-Apocalypse Luncheon). We somehow lucked out this year and don’t have to deal with the full, multi-group, awkward get together that we’ve had to suffer through in years past. So today it’ll be just the five of us, which will be much better because I actually like the people I work with and don’t mind spending time with them.

Unfortunately, it looks like we have to come back to work afterwards, which kinda sucks. Even worse, we have to come to work tomorrow.

That’s a piss-poor way to spend our last day on Earth.

On the way home last night, I couldn’t remember if it was Monday or Tuesday. I had myself pretty much convinced that it was Monday, until I saw my neighbors had their garbage out (which meant it was Tuesday). Some day, I’ll be able to look back on this and think, “there. That’s when the Alzheimer’s started.” Of course, at that point I won’t remember my name, let alone that I couldn’t remember what day it was back in oh-twelve.

So the good news is that two days of the week are over instead of just one. The bad news it that today is my late day (not stupid meeting day this week, thankfully, though I’m wondering if we’re going to have a stupid meeting on the day after Christmas. There’s something depressing about going to work on the day after Christmas to begin with – having to go to a stupid meeting would make it that much worse).

I was listening to NPR the other day, and the theme of the show was something like “why are Americans a bunch of ruthless, gun nut killers,” with the main topic of discussion being, of course, the shootings in Newtown CT. One twit who called in (from Branson Missouri) said that it was because the penalties for that sort of thing weren’t harsh enough (and that in some places they cut your hands off for stealing, you know). I thought for sure that the host would point out the fact that the fucking kid killed himself, so I kinda doubt he was worried about the penalty. But, sadly, he didn’t.

Speaking of great minds from south of the Mason-Dixon line, the good folks in Tennessee are considering arming teachers. I’m not so sure this is a good idea. For one thing, if my teachers had had weapons, I don’t think I’d have made it past ninth grade. I think they’d be better off putting in a moat with alligators and those pointy stick things, and maybe a mine field.

Well, time to get ready to seize the day. It’s gonna be a long one.

All signs are currently pointing to seniors (and future seniors – not to mention poor folks on food stamps and veterans) getting fucked over by our man Barry. This is because he’s apparently ready to agree on changes to the way inflation is calculated, which will in turn reduce already small increases in SS benefits based on the cost of living. The farther away you are from retirement, the more you’re getting screwed. It’s kind of like compound interest in reverse. So, good job there, Mr. President. Once again, I admire your negotiating skills, and I’m sure the Republicans will accept your gracious offer as it, and not demand more, ‘cuz we know how reasonable they are. Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll refuse to pass anything.

Holy crap, Christmas is a week from today. That always seems to sneak up on me every year, even though I’m well aware that it’s coming. The more important thing for me is the Winter solstice on Friday. Assuming we all make it through end of the world type stuff (I might have to pull the battery out of my Armageddon Clock), we’ll get an extra 3 seconds of daylight come Saturday (at least, here where I live). Sadly, it won’t be until St Patrick’s Day that we get more daylight than whatever it is you call it after the sun sets.

And the sun will start getting a little higher in the sky, too. On Friday, the sun will only get 23.5 degrees above the horizon here. Not a lot of warming going on at that rate.

I’m looking forward to more daylight and warmer weather. Seems a shame we have to get through the worst part of the winter first.

On my weekly sojourn into Pixley to buy a week’s worth of vittles yesterday, I passed a church with a marquee out front that read,

Praying is as Important as Breathing

I don’t believe this is a scientifically established fact. I’m not saying that praying isn’t important, mind you. I’m just sayin’ I can’t remember the last time I prayed (what with it being generally ineffective, I’m thinking I haven’t done any serious God-groveling in at least a few years), and if I’d gone that long without breathing, I’m pretty sure I’d be dead right now.

So I’m gonna go with breathing being at least an itsy-bitsy bit more important than prayer.

Of course, I’ve probably never prayed the “right” way. I don’t pray often, but when I do, it’s generally “for” something to happen. Or for something not to happen. Not that I actually believe there’s somebody on the other end of the line when I do it, but, when things are shitty, I figure it doesn’t hurt to ask. It never saved my dad or my mom or any of my dogs (or got me a winning lottery ticket), but I reckon it didn’t hurt none, either.

I suppose you’re supposed to pray in that “oh gosh, you’re so great, oh Lord, and magnificent and I just think you’re awesome” kinda way, but if there is a God, I can’t imagine He’d really need to be sucked up to like that. I mean, after a few thousand years, it’s gotta get pretty old (plus He knows they’re just trying to butter Him up so He doesn’t send them to hell for all eternity).

It’s kinda like when people call in to these radio shows and waste 20 minutes on how much they love the host, long time listener, first time caller, love the show, yada, yada, yada. I mean, come on, we get it, you love Diane Rehm, but get to the friggin’ point already.

That’s probably what God thinks. “Yeah, yeah, I’m almighty. Now, what do you really want from me?”

Well, since you’re asking, for starters, how’s about you keep lunatics from killing 6-yr old kids. Then maybe we can work on the next Powerball drawing.

Well, yesterday was a pretty depressing day. 20 little kids and 7 adults all killed in a matter of minutes, thanks to a well-armed crazy person (who was really just a kid himself). Mike Huckabee says it happened because “we have systematically removed God from our schools.” I dunno, if there’s really a God out there running the show who allows somebody to go nuts and kill 5 year old kids, then I don’t think He was ever actually in our schools. In fact, Mike Huckabee’s God sounds like a dick.

One of the most nauseating aspects of what happened yesterday was the decision by NPR to go into full disaster coverage mode. Normally on Friday, I leave at 3:00 and get to listen to the last hour of Science Friday (where they don’t talk about stuff like Jesus riding on Dinosaurs and how the universe was intelligently created by some psychopath that allows bad things to happen to good people because He’s got a “hands off” management style – except when he’s smiting New Orleans over gay marriage or whatever). But yesterday, I had to listen to NPR’s live coverage of the shooting, which amounted to them repeating the same (very) limited information (much of which was incorrect) over and over and over….

Now I suppose we’ll hear that if the teachers in the school had only been packing heat, this tragedy could have been averted. In fact, probably the only education funding that could pass the Republican House would be to arm teachers with assault rifles.

President Obama was all broken up over the shooting yesterday (not that we’ll talk about gun control, of course – this just isn’t’ the time). I’ve never seen him get all choked up over a drone attack that takes out a family, but then maybe I just missed it.

Oh well, life goes on, I guess. For some of us, anyway.

I had my head stuck to my computer screen all morning, and when I come up for air, I see that some idiot has exercised his second amendment rights by killing 27 people (and 18 kids) at a school in CT. How wonderful. Now isn’t the time to talk about gun control, though. Nope. Wouldn’t want to taint this solemn occasion with talk of maybe preventing crazy assholes from shooting as many people as possible in the short time they have allotted to them.

On the bright side, President Obama says that prosecuting pot smokers in Washington and Colorado “isn’t a top priority.” Hopefully that means we can all sit back and wait to see that the world won’t come to an end just because people can now legally catch a buzz.

In fact, I think Barry and John Boehner ought to pass the bong around next time they get together. Then maybe they can actually do something to keep up from falling into the Pecuniary Precipice.

TGIF!

Today is double-whammy day for me. It’s my late day – which sucks – but even worse, it’s stupid meeting day. No doubt we’ll be forced to consider what to do for our Christmas Party (sorry, we didn’t get the War on Xmas memo). There are three groups involved, and my group is the antisocial group that really doesn’t want to do anything (at least, nothing that involves the other two groups), yet we’re all obliged to go and hang out. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gesture, it’s just that if I’m not going to be doing my job, I’d prefer to be home. I guess I’m just an ungrateful bastid.

The only good thing about my late day is that I go in later, and therefore have extra time to kill in the morning (god forbid I could actually sleep later), so I’ve been watching video of Roy Clark playing various instruments (anything with strings, that man can play), and with various people (many of whom have sadly passed away). 79, and still cookin’, so good for him. I wonder if he ever played with Doc Watson?

Only nine more shopping days until the world ends when mystery planet Nibiru collides with Earth on 12/21, so you better get busy. On the bright side, at least we won’t have to suffer through Christmas (which is on a Tuesday this year; pretty piss-poor planning on somebody’s part – so much for the whole “intelligent design” theory).

Happy Hanukkah, by the way. This is what, like day 5? Lucky you guys, you get to get all your presents before Armageddon sets in.

Well, that was certainly a quick weekend. I can’t say as I did very much, though I actually got to watch a football game yesterday afternoon. If you can call it a football game, that is. It was the Jets vs. the Jaguars, and both of them were rather pitiful. Still, the Jets actually managed to win (and the Bills lost, which is always good), so I won’t complain.

We seem to be edging ever closer to the Pecuniary Precipice (sorry, I’m just really, really tired of the fiscal cliff thing). There was a story in the newspaper about how hard this is going to hit people in New York State, what with us being one of the most highly taxed states in the US (number 3, last I checked, behind CT and NJ). We’re particularly screwed if they decide to do away with the local property tax deduction (not to mention the mortgage interest rate deduction). I know this will screw me over personally (not that it’s all about me, of course).

Other than that, the payroll tax “holiday” is set to end on January 1st. That means a 2% jump in FICA and Medicare taxes, I guess. Plus the jump in the income tax rates, and all kinds of cuts to Medicaid and a reduction of reimbursement rates for Medicare. Oh, and the global financial markets will all collapse, too (at least, if you can believe NPR and Cokie Roberts, who I was forced to suffer through on the drive in this morning).

So, hey, maybe that Mayan Calendar thing was right, after all. Just a couple of weeks off.

Today is proving a very difficult one to get through. I’m tired as hell, and having a tough time staying awake, let alone concentrating on anything. This staring at a computer screen all day stuff is gonna do me in. I was reading somebody or other saying that it might be fine to raise the retirement age for people who sit in an office all day, but not for people who bust their asses working real jobs. While I’d never have imagined thinking so myself back when I was a working guy, but I’m here to tell you that sitting in a chair all day isn’t much better. By the time Monday rolls around, my body is just starting to get straightened back out, and then it’s back in the chair again. At any rate, it’s been a very long week, and it’ll be nice to get the hell out of here.

So, I got the stupid appraisal thingie over with yesterday. Kind of an annoyance to have some stranger traipsing around your home taking pictures and stuff. But at least it’s over. And there was an added bonus with taking the afternoon off, ‘cuz it was darn near 70 degrees and sunny yesterday. We don’t get a lot of that in December around here. Back to normal today, though, and supposed to get kind cold tonight. No nor’easters in the forecast, at least.

You probably heard that Senate Republicans block the ratification of a treaty that calls for countries to not discriminate against the disabled (which would, in theory, make it easier for disabled Americans to work abroad). Even though this treaty wouldn’t change US law, isn’t enforceable by any international organizations, was inspired by the Americans with Disabilities Act, and was supported by the likes of Bob “not dead yet” Dole and John McCain, 38 Republicans said it took away US “sovereignty” and could somehow harm parents who home school their kids. How, exactly it would do this, I didn’t hear. But, whatever.

I’ve got some damn thing or other wrong with my foot (again). I did something to it over the weekend (not sure what), and it’s been bugging me for a few days now, but last night it hurt so bad it woke me up at about 2:00, and I never got to sleep again. This sucks. I always knew my body would betray me in my old age, but I never suspected my feet would become traitors. Kind of took them for granted. I guess they showed me.

A big day here at work today (and a surprising one). My chair has been trying to kill me for quite some time now, and I’ve been bitching about it. But, time being what they are, I didn’t feel it would be prudent to request a new one, so I suffered through.

Today, though, an e-mail got sent out saying there were brand new chairs up for grabs, so I jumped on it (or sat in it). Now I’m trying to adjust it (waaaaaay to many options) and convince myself that it’s better than the old one. We’ll see.