Poor Rush Limbaugh. It seems Wanda Sykes was mean to him at the big White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

“Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails,” Sykes said. “So you’re saying, ‘I hope America fails’, you’re, like, ‘I don’t care about people losing their homes, their jobs, our soldiers in Iraq’. He just wants the country to fail. To me, that’s treason He’s not saying anything differently than what Osama bin Laden is saying. You know, you might want to look into this, sir, because I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight.”

Sykes then said, “Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails, I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that’s what he needs.”

The serious DC pundits think this horrible treatment – I mean, she called him a traitor :omg: – of the head of the Republican Party will taint the whole dinner. Which is accurate, I guess, ‘cuz when I hear “taint,” I think of Limbaugh (ironically, when I think if “Limbaugh,” I think “asshole.” All in the same neighborhood, I guess).

Geez,Wanda, can’t you show Rush the same respect he showed Barack the Magic Negro, Michael J Fox, and prescription drug laws?

A coalition of trade groups is purportedly banding together with the Obama Administration to put lipstick on the US Healthcare pig, hoping to fool us all into to believing that the “for profit” model of healthcare that has brought us personal bankruptcies, denied claims, patient dumping, and huge profits for the medical-pharmaceutical-insurance industrial complex is still the best way to go. They claim they “could” save more than $2 trillion over the next decade. No doubt this means they’ll find more ingenious ways to deny claims and make it more difficult for patients to get the care they need. And of course more dumping of patients into public hospitals facing budget cuts from state and local governments (or just putting them into cabs and dumping them in front of the nearest homeless shelter). Pardon me if I’m not sufficiently enthused.

VP Joe Biden was in town this weekend to give the commencement address at Syracuse University. A great time to be graduating and looking for a job. Joe also visited a local elementary school (the one where his first wife taught while Joe was going to Law School) while he was in town. The kids had written him a letter inviting him, and he was kind enough to stop by.

In more news nobody cares about, it was a good weekend lacrosse-wise here. Both the Onondaga Community College mens and womens teams won their National Junior College Championship games, and all the other local college teams advanced in their tournaments.

I didn’t get to see the Star Trek movie this weekend, but a lot of other people seem to have, as it was #1 at the box office, raking in over two and a half times more than the previous Star Trek best (Star Trek: First Contact).

Matt Lauer is pimping Dick Cheney on the Today Show. I guess that’s my clue to get ready for work.

I know this is an oldie, but what the hell….

On Press the Meat today, it’s Afghan president Hamid Karzai and Pakistani president Asif Ali Zardari, on to tell us what kind of burkhas they bought their moms for Mothers Day. Also up, New Yorker magazine
President and author of “Ghost Wars: The Secret History of the CIA, Afghanistan and Bin Laden, from the Soviet Invasion to September 10, 2001,” Steve Coll and the NBC news Chief Foreign Affairs correspondent (rumor has it she was also the inspiration for Katherine Helmond’s character in Brazil), Andrea Mitchell.

Over on CBS, it’s the one, the only, Montgomery Burns, Darth Vader, Charles Foster Kane, and the Penguin all rolled into one – Dick Cheney, on to prove that there is no god, otherwise this asshole would be dead or in a Syrian prison. Why anybody would want to be in the same room as this piece of filth – let alone put him on TV – is beyond me.

On Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace has General David Betryaus, and prissy little Polident spokesweasel Newt Gingrich. Plus the usual fuxheads, of course.

On the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus has National Security Adviser Gen. James Jones, St. John McCain, and a roundtable with the Axis of Drivel – George :jerk: Will, Cokie “the hag” Roberts, Sam :omg: Donaldson – with former Labor Secretary Robert Reich.

Later, on 60 Minutes, a bunch of regurgitated stories including a story on the Boston Red Sox, the life and death of Ashraf Marwan, claimed by both Israelis and Egyptians to be their greatest spy, and Lara Logan on unmanned flying weapons.

To all you mothers out there, Happy Mothers Day.

Today’s a big day for the geeks (like me) out there. Bigger than “odd day” and, yes, even bigger than “square root day.” It’s the day that the new Star Trek movie (creatively titled, “Star Trek,” I believe) opens nationwide. It’s the first Star Trek movie since Star Trek Nemesis was released about six and a half years ago, and it’s actually getting good reviews from critics and Trekkers alike. Unfortunately, I don’t like to go to movies alone, and with Granny gone, I doubt I’ll be going to see it. Then again, I may have to make an exception.

Not much else going on, really. Sam the Plumber is threatening to leave the GOP. :yawn: What, they haven’t been kissing his ass enough? If Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin leave, the Republican Party (which seems like a contradiction in terms to me) might have a chance at a resurgence.

Speaking of hypocrite Republicans and movies, Kirby Dick’s Outrage gets a wider stance release today. Among those “outed” in the film are California’s David Dreier, Kevin’s Gov, Charlie Crist, former RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman, ex-Louisiana Congressman Jim McCrery, former New York City Mayor Ed Koch and ex-Idaho Sen. Larry Craig. Not a whole lot of surprises there. My only regret is that Kirby isn’t bald and nicknamed “Curly.” Oh well.

Speaking of hypocrites, they’re making a big deal out of a “second” topless photo of everybody’s favorite California bimbo – Carrie what’s her name – after she said there was only one. To be fair, this really is basically the same photo, just from the other side. It also doesn’t count as topless. Now there’s speculation that Carrie will lose the Miss California crown. Let me get this straight: an institution that exploits women, parades them around in bikinis, and pays for a boob job is going to strip this kid of her crown because she had some pretty mild photos taken of herself?

The person who plays the fictional character that the Republicans base their Homeland Security policy on – Keifer Sutherland – has turned himself in for head butting and breaking the nose of a fashion designer (to be fair, there was a ticking bomb in Keifer’s head). Personally, I think Republicans ought to base their policies on Sutherland’s character in Lost Boys instead. I mean, can you think of a better match with Republicans than juvenile delinquent vampires?

In keeping with the whole hypocrisy thing, the Today Show idiots (especially Matt Lauer) were gushing over the reopening of the Statue of Liberty crown, this morning. Matt was close to weeping with patriotism as he discussed what the statue “means to people all over the world.” All I could think of was they ought to put a hood over its head and strip its gown off. Then maybe we’d get a better feel for what the “whole world” thinks these days.

Oh well, time to head off for another day. Sure seems lonely around here.

The Vatican newspaper has reviewed the new Ron Howard/Tom Hanks movie, “Angels and Demons,” and, while calling it historically inaccurate, also called it “harmless entertainment…that sparks curiosity and is also, maybe, a bit of fun.” The US elects a black guy as president, Americans reject the Swine Flu scare as media hype, and the Vatican “gets” that a movie is just a movie? Did I wake up in a parallel universe or something?

Today is “odd day” – one of only six days this century that feature three consecutive odd numbers in the date: 05/07/09. Of course, the year is actually 2009, so it isn’t really consecutive. A “real” odd day would have been January 3^rd, in the year five. But math geeks don’t have a lot to get excited about, so we’ll let ’em have the day today.

Another major local employer is on the ropes, with word that Crucible Steel is filing for Chapter 11. The good news is there aren’t many local employers – let alone “major” ones – left to close around here. When SU and the local hospitals close their doors, we’ll know we’re screwed.

Happy Birthday to 21-yr old Chanel of Port Jeff, NY. Chanel is (supposedly) the world’s oldest living dog.

Let’s hear it for Senator Ben Nelson (DINO-NE), who says he’ll oppose giving people the option of public healthcare, because it would be so much better than private insurance, that it would hurt the insurance companies. Yes, Senator, we must protect the sacred insurance institution at all costs. This is why we needed to have Arlen Specter jump ship and swim over to the Democrat’s big tent, because when Repubicans act like scumbags, it sucks, but when Democrats do it, it’s a good thing. Or something.

Oh well, we’ll always have those memories of Salma Hayek’s “romantic African honeymoon” to fall back on. They can’t take that away from us.

Speaking of romance – or lack thereof – Granny leaves for Minnesota today, to go visit the kids and grandkids. Since I started a new job back in February (same place, but in a bit of an odd technicality involving working for the State vs. the SUNY Research Foundation, I was considered an “off the street” new employee, forcing a criminal background check and piss test – both of which I found highly insulting), I lost all my vacation time (got paid for it, at least), and don’t have enough built back up to make it past next Wednesday. So, the critters and I will be spending the next couple of weeks alone, which I, frankly, am not looking forward to.

As my dad once told my mom after 40 or so years of marriage, “I’ve gotten pretty used to you by now.”

Congratulations to NBA Hall of Famer and former Detroit Piston Dave Bing for winning the mayoral special election in Detroit yesterday (not that mayor of Detroit is a great gig at this point in time; it’s almost as tough as coach of the Lions). Bing played his college ball at, um, let me see, I have it in my notes here somewhere….

It was nice to see the Democrats smack down Arlen Specter yesterday (at least a little bit). All the idiot had to do was keep his mouth shut and keep voting to stick a knife in the backs of working people, and they’d have let him slide. But openly hoping for the MN Supreme Court to overturn the election of Al Franken was going just a tad too far. Let’s hope Sestak kicks his ass in the primary (though it looks as if Tom Ridge might be tough to beat in the general).

Bank of America needs about $34 billion, apparently. I wouldn’t care, except that happens to be my bank. It’s not my fault, though. I opened my account there with my paper route money, when “there” was Syracuse Savings Bank (back in those days “savings” banks weren’t allowed to offer checking accounts – at least, not in NY; checking was for “commercial” banks only). Eventually they got bought out by Norstar. Norstar got bought by Fleet, and then Fleet got bought by Bank of America. I really should move everything to my Credit Union, but I have all these damn automatic payment thingies set up, and it would be a big pain the ass. I’ll just wait ’til BOA pisses it all away, and then I won’t have to worry about it.

Besides, once the Islamic extremists get hold of Pakistan’s nukes, we may all have bigger things to worry about.

Not to mention the coming Apocalypse in 2012.

Speaking of better things to worry about, local schools that closed due to the Swine Flu panic asked the State if they could slide on the 180-days in session rule, and not make up the days they missed. The State said “no,” and, miraculously, schools slated to be closed until at least next week are suddenly back in session today (much to the relief of “uniquely American” parents who work two or three jobs and need the child care). It’s almost as if sanity is poised to prevail in this country, and we can get back to the important stories on the Today Show (like the face transplant lady and John Edwards’ affair and alleged “love child”).

Speaking of the Today Show, memo to Matt Lauer: this does not constitute a “nude photo.” :tap: Though apparently Carrie Prejan is a bottle blonde. I don’t know about you, but I find that shocking.

Dyed hair and fake boobs; what would Jesus say?

Today is the day Marc Maron’s new CD – a 2-CD set entitled “Final Engagement” – comes out. Unfortunately, if you didn’t pre-order it, it looks like it’s already sold out. It’s back ordered at Amazon and CD Universe, anyway. I didn’t see it on the Zune Marketplace, and I don’t know if it’s on iTunes (master marketer that he is – and I mean that as a compliment – there’s no mention of it on Marc’s website). You can read the liner notes at Punchline.

“Christianity Today” gave us a glimpse into just how far Christianity has turned from the teachings of – what’s his name again? – oh, Jesus Christ, by granting a lengthy interview to Joe the Plumber. Amongst the words of wisdom from Big Joe:

I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children.

Gee, what a surprise. Somebody that looks like Jeff Gannon has “friends” that are homosexual, but he wouldn’t let them near his kids. I think dudes you hook with in the men’s room are more “acquaintances” than “friends” there Joe. But I reckon you’d know better then me. Oh, and gawd bless ya, fer sure.

The good news is that Joe won’t be running for office until God tells him to. The bad news is I’m not sure how good these people are at distinguishing between the different voices in their heads.

Matt Lauer just informed me that nude photos of Carrie Prejean (before the fake, Jesus-approved boobs, presumably) have now surfaced. I need URLs Matty-boy! I don’t have time to do a Google search.

It’s Cinco de Mayo, so go out and drink a fifth or two.

Oh well, off to work.

I had an extremely disturbing moment this morning. Got up as I usually do, and proceeded to head for the bathroom with my animal entourage – the dogs trailing dutifully behind, and the cats swirling figure eights between my legs in a desperate plot to kill me. I made it to my destination unscathed, only to wonder what in god’s name would possess Granny to hang a poster of Khalid Sheik Mohammed on our bathroom wall. I must admit, the realization that I was wearing a white t-shirt and looking into the mirror was quite horrifying. This was no way to start the work week.

Hey, how ’bout that Harry Reid, huh? That man really knows how to run the Senate with an iron fist, and he negotiates like a professional. Next time I buy a car, I want him on hand to try and get me sticker price. Of course, I refer to his brilliant move in bringing aboard Arlen Specter, and agreeing to get Specter re-elected to the Senate as a Democrat and grant him full seniority, while Specter agreed to do whatever he damn well pleases. I have no idea why Democrats should try and save Specter’s ass. If he’s going to keep voting with the Republicans, then let the asshole lose in a Republican primary to some wingnut who’ll get is clocked cleaned by Joe Sestak in the general. Now Sestak will need to blow a bundle of money to defeat Specter in a Democratic primary. How the hell the folks in PA can keep electing somebody who doesn’t support working people or public healthcare is beyond me.

Speaking of healthcare, another local school is closed for a week because one kid had the dreaded Swine Flu. Oy. Last I saw, there were 809 confirmed cases worldwide. Out of 6.7 billion or so people, that amounts to about .000012%. Of course, in the US, the numbers are far scarier – about .000064%.

Be afraid, people; be very afraid. And be vigilant. Somewhere out there, there’s a pig with your name on it.

They say the first symptom is starting to look like Khalid Sheik Mohammed.

Despite the fact that most folks seem to realize that the Swine Flu isn’t the Apocalypse (are Americans finally beginning to see the light, and quit being manipulated by the media’s bullshit?), Press the Meat will try and drum up the fear, with HHS Sec. Kathleen Sebelius, DHS Sec. Janet Napolitano, and CDC Acting Dir. Dr. Richard Besser. Then, just how fucked is the Republican Party? Arlen Specter will be on to speculate, and former RNC chair Ed Gillespie comes out of his closet to chat with Mornin’ Joe Scarborough.

While Gillespie and Scarborough stroke each other, Specter, Sebelius, Besser, and Napolitano all jump in a cab and head over to CBS to appear on Faze the Nation.

Keep the meter running, cabbie, ‘cuz Napolitano, Sebelius and Besser will need it to head over to Fux News Sunday and chat with Weaselface Wallace. Specter, of course, is persona non grata at Fux News, so Majority Whip Dick Durbin and Republican Policy Committee Chairman John Ensign will be on to talk about him. Along with the usual Fuxheads, Power Player of the Week Chris Buckley will be on to hopefully tell the Weasel how ashamed his father would be of the Republicans, if he were around today.

Over on the Goebbels network, Pat Leahy and Orrin Hatch talk SCOTUS with George Snufalufagus, until the trio of Napolitano, Sebelius and Besser hit the scene. Then it’s a roundtable of pinhead emeritus George :jerk: Will, Paul Krugman, PBS’s Gwen Ifill, and the WSJ hack Gerald Seib.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Ecuadorians are suing Chevron because oil drilling in the Amazon jungle by Texaco polluted their fragile environment, Saudi Arabia says it’s attempting re-educate Osama bin Laden’s followers, and Morley Safer reports on the Antinori family, who have been in the wine business for 600 years.

Have a good Sunday, everybody.

Today marks the official close of the New York State Golden Snowball competition, where Syracuse, Albany, Buffalo, Rochester, and Binghamton vie to see who got the most snow during the past season. As usual, Syracuse takes home the trophy with 149.6 inches (nearly four feet ahead of second place Rochester). Not that we’re necessarily done with snow for the year, of course.

President Obama gets a crack at appointing a Supreme Court Justice, with word that David Souter will be stepping down at the end of the current term. I’d much rather see Fat Tony or Clarence the Clown retire first, but those asses will probably outlive me. Still, it’ll be interesting to see who Obama appoints (I’m personally rooting for Angela Davis; she’s not a lawyer, but so what?), and how much of a hassle the Republicans give him. Anybody wanna bet against the filibuster becoming an acceptable practice regarding judicial appointments again?

As part of the new NYS budget, the excise tax on wine is going up by 30 cents a gallon today, meaning a box of Granny’s favorite wine will jump by 40 cents or so. The excise tax on beer will also increase by 3 cents a gallon (as if it wasn’t already too damn expensive).

Back to regular work today, after four days of training. Too bad, I was kind of getting used to going in an hour later and actually taking an hour for lunch. Seems a shame to go in for one day; by the time I water my plants and sort through my e-mail, it’ll be time to go home again.

May Day! Workers Unite!